Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I went to the allergist. I found out that I am allergic to dogs, cats, wool, fleece, and pet dander. I'm currently planning to go to school to become a veterinarian. FML

#6054413
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34080) - you deserved it (2986)

On 10/29/2009 at 12:36pm - work - by KMack (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I decided I'd take a nap in my car because I got to work very early. As I was waking up from my nap, I saw a cop looking right at me. Turns out, a lady who'd parked her car right next to mine after I was asleep had called the cops on me because she thought I was dead. FML

#6046125
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24886) - you deserved it (3634)

On 10/28/2009 at 9:09pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, at work we were gathered to be told some bad news. One of our colleagues would be taking indefinite leave because his wife had dropped their newborn baby. I accidentally laughed at the image. FML

#6043300
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10271) - you deserved it (42975)

On 10/28/2009 at 6:29pm - work - by R (woman) - United Kingdom (Belfast)

Today, I was working my job at Sephora when I overheard two women talking. One of them asked her friend, "Is being pretty a requirement to work here?" Her friend turned to see me, turned back to her friend and said, "I guess not." FML

#6041227
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32846) - you deserved it (2653)

On 10/28/2009 at 4:19pm - work - by uglyyyyy (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I noticed that I've been spelling my company's name wrong in my email signature for over a year. FML

#6027287
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6299) - you deserved it (36808)

On 10/27/2009 at 6:24pm - work - by nobodyreadsmyemails (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I bought a nice new dress for a work party. But when I went in, a coworker hurried me into the bathroom saying, "Don't worry we can fix this." She thought someone had been sick on me. Thanks. That was just the pattern of the dress. FML

#6023107
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23548) - you deserved it (6395)

On 10/27/2009 at 12:43pm - work - by yper (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I arrived at work and was immediately given a disciplinary write-up for being two hours late for my shift. Apparently the manager had changed my schedule that morning and failed to tell me. FML

#6017534
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23626) - you deserved it (1161)

On 10/27/2009 at 12:04am - work - by hatemyjob (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, at work, I realized that not everyone in the office needs to hear my explosive diarrhea through the a/c vents that interconnect through the entire building. I think an email was sent around, describing people's reactions in detail. FML

#6016625
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23134) - you deserved it (2428)

On 10/26/2009 at 11:15pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I discovered that I needed to reapply for my job in order to have a chance at keeping it. The applications closed yesterday. FML

#6009884
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23060) - you deserved it (5140)

On 10/26/2009 at 5:37pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, after I had finished vacuuming, I ripped the cord out of the outlet and it hit me in the face cutting both my top and bottom lip. FML

#5980515
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7783) - you deserved it (27496)

On 10/24/2009 at 8:41pm - work - by Clutz (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, at work, I was standing at the till helping an attractive man. I have a cold and could feel the snot bubbling up. He orders and we flirt for a bit. Just as I'm about to hand him his product, I sneeze quite loudly and forcefully all over his face. Guess I won't be getting that number. FML

#5955590
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22941) - you deserved it (7345)

On 10/23/2009 at 4:56am - work - by BoogieCandy. (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I had lunch with some important potential clients at a fancy restaurant. I really wanted to make a good impression. When the piano music stopped, I started clapping while looking around for the pianist. Apparently, it was a CD. FML

#5953871
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7793) - you deserved it (26487)

On 10/23/2009 at 1:01am - work - by E.S. (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I played with the white dust on the counter at work for the last time. After a couple of weeks of arriving to a thin coating of dust over the counter, and drawing in it, piling it up and other such fun things, I met the guy who now does the earlier shift. He has a huge, dandruffy beard. FML

#5946410
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26204) - you deserved it (10154)

On 10/22/2009 at 5:24pm - work - by JustEwww (man) - Australia (New South Wales)



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