Today, I walked in on a homeless guy peeing on a turd on the floor of the women's restroom at the park. I'm a janitor for the city. FML

by minimum wage / 04/02/2012 at 4:38am / Canada / Work

Today, because I was the only manager scheduled, I went into work despite feeling sick to my stomach. While sitting down with a customer, I got the urge to throw up and tried to hold it back. Instead I vomited in my mouth, instinctively swallowed and started choking in front of the customer. FML

by Kristat / 04/01/2012 at 12:32am / United States / Work

Today, I received a call from the company I applied to, only to have my father pick it up and make fun of the man's accent. They won't call me back or take any of my calls, and my dad is completely unapologetic. FML

by Bashit / 03/31/2012 at 9:00pm / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I took a very expensive flight to New York City for a job interview. I waited in my hotel room all day for the phone call to go to my once in a lifetime interview. By noon I was nervous, eight I was pissed. Around ten I realized my phone was still in airplane mode. FML

by Anonymous / 03/31/2012 at 8:35am / United States (California) / Work

Today, I realized that the "holla" tattoo I stupidly got on my lower lip five years ago isn't fading as I expected it to, and will probably contribute to my unemployment for years to come. FML

by bananamuffin / 03/30/2012 at 3:13pm / United States / Work

Today, I was talking about phobias and anxiety disorders in psychology class. I nearly had a panic attack because I was worried that someone might realize I suffer from them. FML

by nicoleee / 03/29/2012 at 4:16pm / United States / Work

Today, my boss pulled me aside to chastise me for being "off task" because I was chatting with a co-worker while working on a project. She then spent a half hour chatting with the same person about what daycare she should go to for her new baby. FML

by anonymous / 03/29/2012 at 11:42am / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, one of my nostrils became completely blocked. At lunch time, I went out to my car to dig into my nose. When I finished, I held up the cornflake sized booger in victory. I noticed too late that my boss was in a car adjacent to me, shooting me a horrified look. FML

by Anonymous / 03/28/2012 at 12:25pm / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I was taking a lifeguard certification test. I nearly drowned halfway through. FML

by LiveGuard / 03/28/2012 at 1:30am / United States / Work

Today, I slipped in a pile of vomit someone left for me on the train platform on the way to work, spraying puke all over both of my legs. It's only 6:30am. It's going to be a long day. FML

Today, I realised being the only female engineering student sucks. I have exactly one friend, because everyone else is too busy staring at my boobs to have a conversation. FML

by Anonymous / 03/27/2012 at 11:54am / Australia (Western Australia) / Work

Today, I got pulled into a conversation about my 62 year old boss's new breast implants. FML

by Anonymous / 03/26/2012 at 10:36pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Work

Today, I was not yet wearing my bouncer uniform when a fight broke out at a club. I intervened, only to have the cops who showed up tase me because they thought I was part of it. FML

by ramis182 / 03/26/2012 at 8:17pm / United States (Washington) / Work