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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I was on a three hour flight to Los Angeles for a corporate meeting. The woman next to me instantly fell asleep and snored louder than a freight train, while the kid behind me made a hobby of thashing my seat from behind. When I peered over and asked him to stop, he spat in my face. FML

#15887024
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32447) - you deserved it (3096)

On 04/22/2011 at 2:43pm - work - by Ashleigh - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I have a new boss. She claims to be a professional Angry Birds player. FML

#15884668
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31834) - you deserved it (4978)

On 04/22/2011 at 10:42am - work - by Username -

Today, the landlord of our building constructed a bathroom in the space under the stairs, outside my office, on the other side of a thin wall. He must have some kind of bowel disorder, because now I get to hear the sounds of his loud, wet and gassy pooping several times per day. FML

#15884544
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26850) - you deserved it (2349)

On 04/22/2011 at 10:26am - work - by op-poopy - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was on the train to work. I was up late the night before, causing me to doze off. When I woke up, I was at my station. I stood up, went to walk out of the door and fell flat on my face on a platform full of people. Someone had tied my shoelaces together. FML

#15883320
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29749) - you deserved it (6521)

On 04/22/2011 at 6:50am - work - by anonymous -

Today, I watched a YouTube video at work because I was bored. I forgot I was on a conference call and my computer's desktop was shared with 15 other people. No one said anything till it ended. FML

#15881339
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8225) - you deserved it (38901)

On 04/22/2011 at 1:20am - work - by anonymous -

Today, at work, we've just hired a new load of people. As an icebreaker, we were paired up randomly and told to learn about our partner so that we can introduce them to the group. I got matched up with someone I've worked with for 4 months. Mid-conversation, I blurted out "I don't know your name." FML

#15877109
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8984) - you deserved it (27139)

On 04/21/2011 at 7:49pm - work - by Clueless (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, a coworker introduced herself to me and told me she hopes I enjoy my new job. We've worked in the same building for two years. I say hello every time I see her. FML

#15869233
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28116) - you deserved it (2591)

On 04/21/2011 at 1:27am - work - by Forgetable (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, it's been 5 years I've been working for a man that won't admit he has Tourette's. He sits at his desk, twitching his head and hissing like a snake. He's also randomly said things like 'nipples', 'Jessica Simpson', 'potato peeler', etc. I feel like it's become my job to warn new employees. FML

#15858383
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31767) - you deserved it (4439)

On 04/20/2011 at 11:25am - work - by ShakeRattleHiss (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at work, I spent half an hour trying to convince an elderly customer that no, I wasn't a messenger sent by the devil to take her soul to hell. FML

#15857597
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34495) - you deserved it (3301)

On 04/20/2011 at 10:15am - work - by rawr -

Today, I went shopping for a nice outfit to wear for a job interview. A fake job interview. One that I just made up so my mother would get off my case about finding a job. I don't know which is sadder, the fact that I can't get a job, or that my mother actually believed me about the interview. FML

#15855932
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9574) - you deserved it (35241)

On 04/20/2011 at 5:27am - work - by oh hey there -

Today, I went for a job interview. I was asked if I wanted a drink. I have no idea why, but I replied "a bottle of milk please." FML

#15855605
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19258) - you deserved it (29694)

On 04/20/2011 at 4:10am - work - by bham boy -

Today, my manager told me to throw out some of the old toys at the daycare we work at. I can't because I've seen Toy Story 3, and thinking about them in a dump makes me cry. I'm 28. FML

#15852392
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33105) - you deserved it (16608)

On 04/19/2011 at 10:29pm - work - by Stupid (woman) - United States

Today, I was carefully drawing blood from a drunk who'd threatened to kill me if I hurt him, when another drunk behind me decided to take a piss on my leg. FML

#15835287
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35471) - you deserved it (4107)

On 04/18/2011 at 4:12pm - work - by waterdog - United States



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