Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, at work, whilst on hold to an important client, I said to my co-workers "F*cking hell, this woman sounds high as a kite". I heard a cough on the other end of the phone. All calls are recorded. FML

#14729337
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6014) - you deserved it (35090)

On 01/27/2011 at 6:20am - work - by GHTD (man) - United Kingdom (Solihull)

Today, I got turned down from a job I really wanted. Six hours later, the guy called me again and delivered the same news, not realizing he had already called this morning. Thanks for rubbing it in. FML

#14704290
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25316) - you deserved it (2328)

On 01/24/2011 at 11:24pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, while at the urinal doing my business, my trousers fell all the way to the ground. As I bent down to pull them back up, my boss walked in the bathroom and thought I was mooning him. FML

#14702634
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24284) - you deserved it (3407)

On 01/24/2011 at 9:33pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, was my first day at a new job. I was really pleased with how much positive attention I was getting in a mainly male office. Guess whose shirt was see-through. FML

#14698327
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10922) - you deserved it (31621)

On 01/24/2011 at 2:18pm - work - by oooops (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I wrote a mental note: don't tell a couple of nuns that you used black magic to fix their computer. Then don't tell the story to your boss just as the nuns walk back in again. Then don't say "speak of the devil" to them. FML

#14647834
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10119) - you deserved it (33558)

On 01/20/2011 at 5:55am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was talking to a co-worker about birth control. Ten minutes later, I went to my sent e-mails to copy and reuse an old e-mail and realized I had sent "I tried calling you but your birth control is not working" to a student. It was supposed to say "voicemail". FML

#14644805
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8280) - you deserved it (20134)

On 01/19/2011 at 10:59pm - work - by OverWorked1 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, a patient at the hospital I work at had a tracheal tube and couldn't speak. I'm unable to read lips, but I'm pretty sure he was mouthing the words 'stupid bitch' every time I tried to stop him from pulling out his IV. FML

#14642325
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20762) - you deserved it (2283)

On 01/19/2011 at 7:52pm - work - by sirenmario -

Today, at work, I helped out an employee who was having trouble. I even bought her a bottle of water. After the production manager decided to fire her on the spot, she went out in the parking lot and broke into several cars, including mine. FML

#14639057
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26134) - you deserved it (2364)

On 01/19/2011 at 1:54pm - work - by peachesthepigeon (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I called my boss and said "I have been awake since 3am throwing up." He replied with "Great, see you at 9" and hung up. FML

#14638505
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29696) - you deserved it (2947)

On 01/19/2011 at 12:31pm - work - by gb739 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, at work, I spent half an hour on the phone with a customer. At the end of the conversation, as he was putting down the phone, I heard him say 'God, he was a miserable git'. I'm a 28 year old woman. FML

#14637512
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21287) - you deserved it (3456)

On 01/19/2011 at 9:55am - work - by tgpgs -

Today, I finished working a week's overtime managing admin, stock, finances, and three members of staff. I realised that despite all my extra work, I actually earn less per hour than the students who only work on the weekends. FML

#14600625
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21765) - you deserved it (2413)

On 01/16/2011 at 12:30pm - work - by ovawerkrd - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I got off work and checked my makeup in the mirror once I got in my car. I had a huge piece of spinach on my front tooth that no one told me about. I work the front desk of an upscale hotel and have been greeting guests all day. FML

#14575299
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24266) - you deserved it (4940)

On 01/14/2011 at 5:11am - work - by embarassed (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I had my first job interview in months. The interviewer started by introducing herself and asking how I was. I got caught between introducing myself and telling her how I was and replied "I'm Kate thanks". FML

#14574476
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18732) - you deserved it (4863)

On 01/14/2011 at 2:51am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: