Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I was going over some paperwork with my back to my office door. As I turn around, my boss enters and says my name loudly. I was startled so bad that I jumped, yelped, and a high-pitched fart snuck out. Everyone in the office now gives prior notice before dropping by the "fart guy's" office. FML

#7198601
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20847) - you deserved it (3843)

On 01/07/2010 at 12:44pm - work - by Mic (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, at work, I dropped a heavy block of lead on my hand. On my hunt for ice, I had to tell my manager - who told her manager, who told the chief - in the end, the whole department found out and they made me fill in two long arsed incident reports. I had to fill them in myself with my busted up hand. FML

#7192176
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17123) - you deserved it (2509)

On 01/07/2010 at 12:19am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, after months of job hunting, I got a call back for a position. I was outside at the time and had no pen or paper available to write the address down. I told the guy to call me back in 5 minutes and he agreed. It's been 3 hours and still no call. FML

#7180420
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8678) - you deserved it (19335)

On 01/06/2010 at 11:44am - work - by noluckwhatsoever (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, it was snowing really badly, so my boss said that everyone who drove to work could leave. But because I got the bus in, she said that I should stay and do a full day. By the time she eventually decided it was bad enough for me to leave, the buses were cancelled. FML

#7178930
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30224) - you deserved it (1771)

On 01/06/2010 at 8:42am - work - by Snowzies (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, one of my managers at work asked me to carrying our new Frappe machine to front counter for assembling. Being 5 months pregnant, I explained to her I am unable to safely lift more than 20-30lbs. I was then fired and told that I shouldn't use being pregnant as an excuse to not work. FML

#7178040
298 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40860) - you deserved it (3878)

On 01/06/2010 at 6:06am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I started my new job as a janitor at a store. The first thing that happened when I came in was another employee telling me that there was vomit in the restroom, and that I had to clean it up. Not only did I clean up vomit, I had to clean up the poop that made the kid puke in the first place. FML

#7170495
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21196) - you deserved it (3639)

On 01/05/2010 at 9:06pm - work - by Mark (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was told that, although I was sick on the last day before break, they would still accept the 24 page essay that I had written. Tonight, as I went to print it out, I found that my dad had "cleaned up a bit" on my computer, including the documents from last semester. I have school tomorrow. FML

#7158571
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25878) - you deserved it (2681)

On 01/05/2010 at 2:18am - work - by Himynameisjacob (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was rejected for a job I really wanted, they said I didn't have enough experience. I designed the systems they are implementing. FML

#7158540
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31718) - you deserved it (1584)

On 01/05/2010 at 2:16am - work - by Me - France

Today, I returned to work after a restful week-long holiday. Before I left, I'd finished a huge assignment which is due this week. I walk in to find a water pipe has burst just above my desk, flooding our office with water and ruining my computer. Happy New Year to me. FML

#7142221
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20033) - you deserved it (1920)

On 01/04/2010 at 6:15am - work - by WetWetWet (man) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, I was rejected for an internship due to 'lack of experience.' I have both an MA and a BA from a highly prestigious school and years of work experience. My would-be superior: a 24 year old without a graduate degree and only one year of work experience. She wore jeans to the interview. FML

#7137648
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25481) - you deserved it (2830)

On 01/04/2010 at 12:29am - work - by screwed (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, while at work I went to use the public restroom because I had a severe case of diarrhea. All went well until the timed sensor lights went off and I couldn't leave my stall to get them back on. I sat there for thirty minutes in pure darkness. FML

#7105226
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18040) - you deserved it (2596)

On 01/02/2010 at 2:24pm - work - by Bathroom Problems - France

Today, while working my overnight shift, I went into the isolation room to find some items for a former client. The door fell shut and the magnetic lock went to work. Both unit telephones and my cell phone were lying on the desk, and I waited four hours for my supervisor to rescue me. FML

Today, I learned that instead of discarding expired products at my work, we change the label to make them 'expire' later. FML

#7099062
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23295) - you deserved it (2213)

On 01/02/2010 at 3:26am - work - by Labelme (woman) - United States



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: