Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I'm a nanny. After the kids went to bed the dog wouldn't stop barking violently unless I held the end of a blanket for him to hump. I need a raise. FML

#16738818
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33089) - you deserved it (3206)

On 06/19/2011 at 1:19am - work - by fattymcbutterpants - United States

Today, I was passed over for the job of my dreams. I now have to watch as a girl I have on Facebook - a total moron - boasts daily about scoring the position instead. Turns out the interviewer was her uncle. FML

#16705159
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33354) - you deserved it (2806)

On 06/17/2011 at 12:50am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, my boss gave me an "All you need to know about grammar" book. FML

#16704546
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9489) - you deserved it (29833)

On 06/17/2011 at 12:16am - work - by illiterate - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was working the register at our local McDonald's. After a strange man left a massive order, he said, "Can I pay you in gummy worms?" FML

#16690191
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35824) - you deserved it (4089)

On 06/16/2011 at 2:37am - work - by Hank Gummyworm - United States (Michigan)

Today, I watched my boss try to stick a magnet to cardboard. FML

#16671761
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38551) - you deserved it (3575)

On 06/15/2011 at 1:46am - work - by MegaBear - United States

Today, my professor handed me back a paper I spent hours upon hours working on. At the bottom in red it said "D" followed by, "that was a gift." FML

#16666880
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24919) - you deserved it (7332)

On 06/14/2011 at 8:59pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, while driving in a funeral procession I was distracted, missed my turn and yelled "God dammit!" I'm the funeral director; the Priest was in the car with me as I led the funeral the wrong way. FML

#16659246
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14895) - you deserved it (37517)

On 06/14/2011 at 10:23am - work - by patrickalamo - United States (Texas)

Today, I went into work for the first time without make-up. My boss thought I looked so tired and ill that he sent me home. FML

#16624157
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37842) - you deserved it (7668)

On 06/12/2011 at 7:46am - work - by FreshFaced (woman) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, I was given a new nickname at work due to my boss always confusing me with one of my co-workers who is taller than me. Someone suggested he just call us the same name to make it simpler, and the tall one would be big and the short one little. Everyone at my job now calls me Little Dick. FML

#16591385
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40775) - you deserved it (4469)

On 06/10/2011 at 4:09am - work - by lilben (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that as a supervisor, if you reprimand a female worker and end the conversation with "Now get back to making sandwiches." your boss will consider it sexism and suspend you. I work at Subway. FML

#16589228
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52789) - you deserved it (8212)

On 06/10/2011 at 1:01am - work - by MakeMeASandwich (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I received roughly 50 paper cuts while I was at work. I didn't realize this until after I applied hand sanitizer. FML

#16577754
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43606) - you deserved it (5676)

On 06/09/2011 at 12:35pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I started my new job at a restaurant. I am going to be the mascot that stands by the road to wave down customers in a heavy polyester animal suit. The high today is 102. I work 12-4. FML

#16575408
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33698) - you deserved it (5841)

On 06/09/2011 at 7:50am - work - by aeghw1s - United States (Missouri)

Today, my boss asked if he could pay me in guns. FML

#16571694
334 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32321) - you deserved it (5734)

On 06/09/2011 at 12:06am - work - by grant b - United States (Texas)



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