Today, I was written up. Too many customers complained that I don't wear makeup or do my hair. I got written up for being ugly. FML

by LoadingMeows / 09/22/2016 at 9:17pm / United States / Work

Today, I was fired without warning from my job because I was not consulting my boss about things like washing dishes and throwing away garbage. Basically, I was fired for being too good at my job. FML

by Worky Workerton / 09/22/2016 at 1:14pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, at my job of 2 months, I'd taken it upon myself to water the plants around the office every day since they all looked a little sad. My boss then asked why so many of the fake plants were getting mouldy. My co-workers had watched me water plastic plants for 2 months and nobody bothered to tell me. FML

by Emyka / 09/21/2016 at 6:51am / Austria / Work

Today, I found out that my boss's ex-husband is my company manager. They are one office space apart and constantly shouting about one another. I'm in that one office space between them. In the office across from me? Their daughter. FML

by JAMjessie / 09/20/2016 at 12:54pm / United States (Georgia) / Work

Today, I'm jobless and picked up transcription work online. I typed furiously all day. I have made a grand total of $2.06. FML

by Whybother / 09/20/2016 at 4:13am / United States (Hawaii) / Work

Today, my boss had to order some more work pants since mine were worn out after 7 months. He told me the next set I would have to buy myself since they last workers about 2 years, and I must be treating them too roughly. I didn't want to admit that my thighs rubbing together ended up shredding the fabric. FML

by thickly / 09/19/2016 at 1:31pm / United States (Arkansas) / Work

Today, because of the gas crisis in my state, we had to stop taking delivers at the pizza place I work at. Someone asked if we could walk it to them. My manager agreed. FML

by Anonymous / 09/19/2016 at 10:03am / United States / Work

Today, I finally have a job I love with amazing people I call family and a fantastic boss. I've been here 8 months, and I'm doing a great job, I feel like I could work here forever! My most recent project? Printing our "Store closing sale" signs for liquidation. We permanently close in 7 weeks. FML

by mischalucksux / 09/19/2016 at 9:54am / United States / Work

Today, whilst at work as a furniture salesperson, a couple was looking at a couch. As part of our sales technique, we invite people to take a seat. The man was wearing shorts, and his testicles dropped out to the side. I had to discuss fabric options, etc, whilst avoiding looking at his balls. FML

by orangediva / 09/18/2016 at 1:16pm / Australia (Western Australia) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I met the old couple I would be house-sitting for. As I was leaving the lady stuck her fist out towards me. After a seconds awkward pause I thought she wanted to fist-bump so stuck mine out and bumped. Turned out she was handing me the key. FML

by Krystl / 09/18/2016 at 12:35pm / Australia / Work

Today, a woman came in to order lunch. She ordered a sandwich then asked for me to configure it precisely to her complicated desires. This took a whole 5 minutes, during the lunch rush. When I told her the cost, she decided it was too expensive and cancelled her order. FML

by Gray_Kitty / 09/17/2016 at 3:34pm / United States (Nebraska) / Work

Today, I ordered flowers to be delivered to my workplace on Tuesday. To myself. For my birthday. Because even though birthdays are posted in the monthly newsletter, mine gets left out every year. For the past four years. FML

by CouldBeALoser / 09/17/2016 at 2:26pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, "What kind of penises do you guys have?" wasn't even the weirdest thing I've heard my elderly female co-worker say this morning. FML

by mercumorr / 09/17/2016 at 8:27am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.