Today, I had a job interview for an amazing opportunity. Too bad my nerves made me forget what the role was and where it was, mid-interview. FML

by RIP job / 09/28/2016 at 12:26am / Australia / Work

Today, two months into my new marketing job, I presented my first webinar live to over 300 people. Half the audience complained about the horrible sound quality, saying all they could hear was a Mickey Mouse squeaky sound. Turns out it wasn't the sound quality, it was my voice. FML

by Anonymous / 09/27/2016 at 5:29pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, while on break from work, I went to the cafeteria and bought cheese cubes. One of my coworkers, who is usually very pleasant, asked to try some and I said yes. She ate all the cheddar cubes in the bowl, which are the only ones I like. I wasted $3 for someone else to eat my food. FML

by IJustWantedCheez / 09/27/2016 at 1:37pm / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, during a regular checkup at the dentist, I got a wisdom tooth pulled out which resulted in me looking like a fat hamster. Tomorrow is my first day as an English teacher in high school. FML

by toeloezz / 09/26/2016 at 2:02pm / Netherlands / Work

Today, I e-mailed an employer to ask about a job I had applied for earlier. The employer in question was on vacation. The person who replied had the position which I had applied for mentioned in their signature. FML

by Farah / 09/26/2016 at 10:42am / Bangladesh / Work

Today, it's my last day at my job because I'm moving to another city. My boss handed me a card and chocolates. The same boss that didn't sign the card because, "Even though you're a great employee, I probably won't remember your name in a fortnight." I've been there three years. FML

by Bawsack / 09/26/2016 at 6:10am / United Kingdom (Edinburgh, City of) / Work

Today, I asked an elderly customer at my work if she needed help with her groceries. She responded, "I normally would, but I'm afraid you'll eat all the groceries." FML

by Fat and Embarrassed / 09/25/2016 at 10:09pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, I was called to be told I'm fired for not showing up for my shift. I guess she didn't check her voice message to see that I gave birth last night. FML

by jessiluvxx / 09/25/2016 at 5:08pm / United States (New Jersey) / Work

Today, my brat of a coworker tried to convince our boss that I should get paid half of what I'm making because I broke my right arm. I'm left handed, broke it on the job, and still doing a better job than her. She makes double what I do. FML

by BossesLittleBrat / 09/25/2016 at 8:47am / United States (North Dakota) / Work

Today, I was talking with a very attractive co-worker outside when a moth flew into my ear. I started screaming and hitting my ear because it was stuck and alive in my ear. I spent the rest of the day at the ER. I'm forever known as the moth lady. FML

by Anonymous / 09/25/2016 at 12:13am / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I was told I needed to start carrying bandaids with me at work because practically every day I hurt myself. FML

by anonymous / 09/24/2016 at 9:10am / United States (Washington) / Work

Today, I had my first interview. Everything was going well until I made him repeat his name numerous times, as I couldn't understand what he was saying due to his thick accent. FML

by NoJob / 09/24/2016 at 2:41am / United Kingdom (Redcar and Cleveland) / Work

Today, after 3 weeks of my new job, I'm already having work-related dreams. I'm having troubles differentiating between the 8 hour shifts in real life and the 8 hour shifts in my dream. I'm doubly exhausted. FML

by do you want a bag / 09/24/2016 at 12:48am / Canada (British Columbia) / Work