Work: Today, my alarm clock did not go off, it would have been fine... - FML

This is a Nearly FML. It’s an FML, nearly. It got positive votes from the users, by wasn’t approved by our team.

By Anonymous - 26/04/2016 23:09 - Canada - Burlington

Today, my alarm clock did not go off, it would have been fine if the cat hadn't pissed on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43

You deserved it 3

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Parents Relatable Work Awkward Job interview Social Media Jealousy Love Facebook Friends Relationship advice AITA Kids Roommate Shoes Annoying Music Names Customers Money Education Capitalism Gamers Weird Bodyshaming Coworkers Landlords Dogs Allergies Embarrassing

The Top

Today, I came out of the bathroom and caught my husband peeing against a tree in the backyard. I told him how disgusting that was. He said, "Fine. Back to peeing in the sink." FML

I agree, your life sucks 262

You deserved it 427

Today, and every time I try to talk to my mother about being a lesbian, she just says in the most condescending way, "Oh no you're not sweetie, it’s just a phase." The "phase" has lasted 17 years, including marrying my wife and adopting twin sons, but sure, it’s “just a phase.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 727

You deserved it 229

The Top

Today, I woke up to a repairman at my door who was simply supposed to turn my water back on in my apartment. Two hours and 5 repairmen later, all I have now is a large hole in my ceiling. Still no water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 793

You deserved it 2 365

Today, I had a stomach bug, but despite it I swallowed a mouthful of habanero sauce on a dare. I ended up projectile vomiting on a wall outside, lost my sense of balance and fell over on the sidewalk, almost blacked out from the tightness in my chest, and had to refuse an ambulance that somebody had called. All for $5. FML

I agree, your life sucks 132

You deserved it 1 237

Today, my boyfriend told me that I moan too much when we have sex. I actually just fake my moans in an effort to cover the sound of my cracking hips. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 370

You deserved it 5 881

Today, I found out my boyfriend has checked every girl he has ever slept with for 'vagina teeth'. I'm apparently no exception. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 396

You deserved it 5 816

Today, my Mom found out that I've been intimate with one of my best friends in the past. We used protection, it never went anywhere, and we ended it amicably, but she still gave me a huge lecture. Later, she high-fived and congratulated him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 686

You deserved it 492

Today, my boyfriend whispered to me, “I’m so tired of these fucking mosquitos.” When I asked why he was whispering, he said, “So they can’t hear me.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 641

You deserved it 72