About Wake_junkie
I'm accident prone. I'm pretty much a walking disaster waiting to happen. It provides lots of memories though. I'm also pretty damn sarcastic. AIM- xxsxysnboarderxx
Wake_junkie - Followers
Wake_junkie - Followed
Wake_junkie's FML badges
  • It's in the can!

    Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
    100%
  • Consolation prize

    Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
    100%
  • The thumb strikes back

    You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
    0%
  • The return of the thumb

    You have thumbed 5000 comments.
    0%
  • Keen reader – Level: student ninja

    You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    0%
  • Keen reader – Level: master ninja

    You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    0%
  • Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

    You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    0%
  • One more and it's business time

    You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.
    3%
The list of badges to find
Wake_junkie's favorite FMLs

Today, my daughter asked me when was the first time I had sex. After I told her 22 she quickly shouted, "Beat ya!" She's thirteen. FML

By Noname - / Friday 6 March 2009 19:04 / United States

Today, I gave my wife a cat. The first thing it did when it got out of the box was scratch the sh*t out of my leg. Next, it ran up to my wife and purred. She said, "Good cat." FML

By prevostsrocklike / Monday 11 May 2009 12:38 / United States
By Anonymous - / Friday 17 April 2009 14:14 / United States

Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML

By Anonymous - / Thursday 2 April 2009 05:13 / United States

Today, it's my birthday. My mom decided to wake me up by having our new, previously stray, cat thrown on top of me. I was awoken to two claws ripping across my face which needed 16 stitches to fix. Happy Birthday. FML

By birthdayfun - / Monday 23 March 2009 22:46 / United States