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Usnwife's FML badges
  • Profile completed

    You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
  • Mobility

    You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
  • Work is a 4-letter word

    Voting on an FML in the "Work" category on a Monday morning between 8 and 9 a.m. How ironic.
  • Checking you out

    You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
  • Keen reader – Level: student ninja

    You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
  • Keen reader – Level: master ninja

    You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
  • I'm an early bird, but no worm yet

    You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 a.m.
  • Night owl

    You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 a.m.
  • Santa Claus

    You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
  • I like your style

    You gave a Hug to someone. How cute!
  • Friendless, or not going out tonight?

    You posted a comment on the 31st of December between 11pm and 1 a.m. Happy New Year!
  • I moderated this!

    In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
  • Up and coming moderator

    It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
  • 100 kick-ass comments

    100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
  • 50 quality comments

    Clicking to reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried afterwards is even worthier.
  • Consolation prize

    Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
  • The Mixer

    You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
  • Perfectionist

    Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
  • The return of the thumb

    You have thumbed 5000 comments.
    4%
  • One more and it's business time

    You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.
    0%
  • A new thumb

    You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
    0%
  • I agree, my mouse works.

    200 "I agree" votes is a good start.
    14%
  • YDI Master

    You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.
    7%
  • Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

    You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    0%
  • The thumb strikes back

    You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
    7%
  • Judgmental

    You have voted "You deserved it" over 100 times.
    33%
  • 50 favorites

    Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!
    30%
The list of badges to find
Usnwife's favorite FMLs

Today, I was eating at a nice restaurant. Feeling curious, I daringly asked for the surprise "Maiden's Dream" dessert. The waiter came back with a banana between two balls of ice-cream on a plate, and no spoon. FML

By [email protected] / Saturday 3 January 2009 08:38 / France

Today, like every year, my next-door neighbors started setting off their fireworks at exactly midnight. Also, like every year, the sensitive car alarm belonging to another neighbor has gone off with every firework. It's been almost six hours of nonstop alarms and explosions. FML

By TooNoisy4Me - / Monday 4 July 2016 09:46 / United States - Bellerose

Today, I got a splinter in my shop class. The teacher dug at it with tweezers for a while, then told me that my best bet would be to wait until the wound got infected and formed a bunch of pus around the splinter to force it out. It's in my dominant hand's palm. FML

By pain / Friday 20 May 2016 04:23 / United States - San Francisco

Today, I took my AP US History exam. For some reason, my school let the school nurse proctor the exam. She read the instructions for the wrong test and told us to seal up our tests, despite having another section left in that book. She wouldn't listen to us when we tried to tell her. FML

By soccerswim20 / Thursday 19 May 2016 00:46 / United States - Coatesville

Today, it's been two months since I got a kitten. He loves to hide, and then surprise me by jumping out of his hiding place. It was quite a surprise when he launched himself out of my bag during class. FML

By Kitten_Love / Monday 28 January 2013 19:52 / France - Paris