About Toalysium
Just here to revel in others' misery. It's particularly awesome when it's caused by their own stupidity. I wish there was a "You suck at life." option for voting.
Toalysium - Followers
Toalysium - Followed
Toalysium's FML badges
  • Beginner

    You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
  • Night owl

    You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 a.m.
  • Work is a 4-letter word

    Voting on an FML in the "Work" category on a Monday morning between 8 and 9 a.m. How ironic.
  • Mobility

    You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
  • Socialite

    You used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
  • I moderated this!

    In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
  • Up and coming moderator

    It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
  • I agree, my mouse works.

    200 "I agree" votes is a good start.
  • YDI Master

    You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.
  • Judgmental

    You have voted "You deserved it" over 100 times.
  • It's in the can!

    Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
  • 50 favorites

    Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!
  • Consolation prize

    Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
  • A new thumb

    You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
  • 100 kick-ass comments

    100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
  • Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

    You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    7%
  • Keen reader – Level: master ninja

    You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    14%
  • Keen reader – Level: student ninja

    You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    43%
  • The return of the thumb

    You have thumbed 5000 comments.
    11%
  • The thumb strikes back

    You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
    22%
  • 50 quality comments

    Clicking to reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried afterwards is even worthier.
    68%
  • Who’s the fairest of them all?

    This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
    33%
  • One more and it's business time

    You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.
    1%
The list of badges to find
Toalysium's favorite FMLs

Today, while getting intimate with my girlfriend, she asked me to whisper her name. Apparently, her name is not Kate. FML

By you - / Tuesday 30 October 2012 19:46 / United Kingdom

Today, my husband informed me that he recently slept with a secretary of his to become better at sex for me. I don't know what's worse, the fact that he cheated on me or that he seriously believes that he has a reasonable excuse. FML

By Enragedbitch / Saturday 20 October 2012 08:49 / United States - Torrance

Today, my boyfriend discovered that if he pulls out during doggy-style and rubs my clit with the tip of his penis, he will be rewarded with a queef. He found it hilarious and tested it out 5 more times. FML

By SoSexy - / Sunday 7 October 2012 10:25 / United States - Stockton

Today, while my husband and I were arguing, he walked away in the middle of my sentence yelling, "Remember babe, you're only my current wife!" FML

By JB - / Sunday 9 September 2012 08:34 / United States - Somerset

Today, a girl told me she stopped eating cherries ever since her father choked on one when she was a kid. She later mentioned that she doesn't like to drive. I sarcastically asked, "Did your dad choke on a car too?" Nope, her two brothers died in a car accident. FML

By Cherrish it / Tuesday 4 September 2012 04:24 / United States - Carmichael