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Storyofmylufe's favorite FMLs

Today, I was masturbating lying on the lower bed of my brother's and my bunk beds. I finished jacking off and tried to get up to clean myself I hit my head on metal panel of the upper bed and passed out. Later woke up in my bed... found out my parents came home and saw me passed out naked holding a porn mag. FML

By killmyself / Friday 23 January 2009 19:50 / United States

Today, I was burgled while I was on the toilet. FML

By emchocolat - / Sunday 16 December 2012 16:55 / Europe

Today, after my boyfriend broke up with me, the only thing positive about my day was a pregnancy test. FML

By rawr_fml001 / Friday 11 May 2012 23:50 / Canada - Brampton

Today, I was washing my hands in the bathroom when I looked up and saw a spider on my cheek. Panicking, I slapped myself in the face as hard as I could to kill it. Turns out the spider was on the mirror. FML

By Anonymous / Tuesday 18 October 2011 06:55 / United States

Today, I was getting a bit intimate with my boyfriend. Just when things were getting interesting, my dog managed to get into my room. He jumped on the bed and my boyfriend spent the next 20 minutes playing with the dog, while I sat next to him, half naked. FML

By Puppy Loverr / Thursday 25 August 2011 07:12 / Australia