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Scorpioserpent - Followers
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Scorpioserpent's FML badges
  • Mobility

    You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
  • I agree, my mouse works.

    200 "I agree" votes is a good start.
    6%
  • The thumb strikes back

    You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
    0%
  • The return of the thumb

    You have thumbed 5000 comments.
    0%
  • Keen reader – Level: student ninja

    You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    41%
  • Keen reader – Level: master ninja

    You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    14%
  • Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

    You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    7%
  • One more and it's business time

    You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.
    1%
The list of badges to find
Scorpioserpent's favorite FMLs

Today, half asleep, I dropped my pill before I could take it. I quickly picked it up and washed it down. Five hours later, I just found my pill on the ground. What did I swallow? FML

By anonymiss - / Monday 13 April 2009 16:12 / Canada

Today, at a bar, a woman approched me and tried to set me up with her friend. Looking around, the only people in the bar were a man reading the paper and a very ugly woman, looking at me and smiling. I worriedly replied, "I'm sorry, but I'm gay." Turns out her friend was the one reading the paper. FML

By awkward23 - / Tuesday 12 January 2010 10:26 / United States

Today, I went on a blind date. We had agreed on meeting in front of a park. Thinking I was there first, I texted her "I'm already there, sitting next to the fat chick." I heard a beep. SHE was the "fat chick." FML

By sarahh38 - / Wednesday 16 September 2009 18:23 / Canada

Today, I met my boyfriend's mother for the first time. She greeted us holding a baby, and I told her how cute her son was. She told me that it was her grandson. Turns out my boyfriend is the father. We're 16. FML

By Notyourstepmom / Monday 7 September 2009 18:22 / United States

Today, I was smoking a cigarette while watching the meteor shower. I was just about at the filter and as I was taking my last drag, my friend decided to scare me from behind, and I accidentally sucked the whole thing in my mouth. They don't go out immediately when in your mouth. My tongue hurts. FML

By Anonymous - / Thursday 13 August 2009 07:24 / United States