About Heinous966
I'm slightly obsessed with Star Trek.
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Heinous966's FML badges
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  • One more and it's business time

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Heinous966's favorite FMLs

Today, we had some family over. A nasty need to wank seized me when I saw her: my 17-year-old cousin. I went to my parents' unoccupied bedroom. My sister's baby walkie-talkie was switched on, and the whole family heard me. FML

By VIVI / Saturday 25 October 2008 16:55 /

Today, I asked my girlfriend's father for permission to take his daughter's hand in marriage. He asked me "Which one?" I said "Uh, the one I'm dating... Lisa." He belched and said, "Yeah sure, throw 'er off a cliff for all I care. Piss off, boy." So much for chivalry. FML

By Anonymous - / Saturday 29 November 2014 21:54 / United States - North Adams

Today, after a huge fight, my girlfriend started coming onto me. I thought it was actual make-up sex and went along with it. It was great, until she suddenly shoved me off her just as I was almost ready to come. She smugly announced she was dumping me, got dressed, then left. FML

By blueballed - / Saturday 29 November 2014 21:08 / Germany - Kiel

Today, I went to celebrate Thanksgiving with my family. I watched as my uncle and his girlfriend snuck off to the bathroom together, where they stayed until someone else tried to get in. When they came out, she was wiping her mouth. I need new eyes. FML

By Trainer Calypso / Thursday 27 November 2014 20:38 / United States - Schofield

Today, I had to babysit both my neighbor's 3-year-old daughter and my very pregnant cat. I left the room briefly, only to come back to a traumatized 3-year-old crying in horror as my cat gave birth in front of her. FML

By Anonymous / Saturday 22 November 2014 15:34 / United States - Waterville