About Hamrtym
I play basketball professionally in my dreams. I am a entrepreneur that works for corporate America I tried to eat soup with a fork and gave up after 3 hours I hold the shifter when I drive my automatic car fast I am, the least interesting man in the world
Hamrtym - Followers
Hamrtym - Followed
Hamrtym's FML badges
  • Supersize Menu

    You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.
  • Socialite

    You used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
  • Mobility

    You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
  • Checking you out

    You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
  • Keen reader – Level: student ninja

    You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
  • Keen reader – Level: master ninja

    You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
  • Night owl

    You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 a.m.
  • I like your style

    You gave a Hug to someone. How cute!
  • The Mixer

    You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
  • What'ch'all looking at?

    You have put three pictures on your profile, but not necessarily pictures of your profile.
  • Up and coming moderator

    It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
  • Perfectionist

    Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
  • Who’s the fairest of them all?

    This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
  • Profile completed

    You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
  • It's in the can!

    Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
  • 100 kick-ass comments

    100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
    81%
  • One more and it's business time

    You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.
    7%
  • A new thumb

    You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
    17%
  • Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

    You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    0%
  • 50 quality comments

    Clicking to reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried afterwards is even worthier.
    80%
  • 50 favorites

    Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!
    58%
  • The return of the thumb

    You have thumbed 5000 comments.
    3%
  • The thumb strikes back

    You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
    5%
  • Judgmental

    You have voted "You deserved it" over 100 times.
    4%
  • YDI Master

    You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.
    1%
  • I agree, my mouse works.

    200 "I agree" votes is a good start.
    7%
  • Beginner

    You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
    80%
The list of badges to find
Hamrtym's favorite FMLs

Today, I started getting calls from gay men looking for anonymous kinky sex. It turns out that my coworker has been posting my personal information in Craigslist Personals section as a prank. My wife doesn't believe that my coworker is such an asshole. FML

By CalledOut - / Monday 2 February 2015 06:41 / United States - Vancouver

Today, I found out how whipped I am when, at the climax of sex, I moaned, "I'm sorry!" FML

By imsorry - / Wednesday 14 January 2015 23:57 / United States - Oakland

Today, I had to fall asleep to my next-door neighbors having sex because our walls are paper thin. What bothered me the most wasn't listening to them doing it, but knowing that she was faking it. FML

By Mkimmi - / Thursday 12 February 2015 07:39 / United States - State College

Today, my boss refused to give me vacation time for my wedding and honeymoon because she didn't have a honeymoon and because of that apparently neither should I. FML

By bingalingading - / Thursday 12 February 2015 01:44 / United States - Owosso

Today, my boyfriend of 5 days proposed to me at the mall. FML

By Anonymous - / Wednesday 4 February 2015 16:06 / Netherlands