About Hallucinog3n
Psychonauts seem strange; staring stupidly, stamina slowly saps. Sleep struggles surely suffocate sensible souls.
Hallucinog3n - Followers
Hallucinog3n - Followed
Hallucinog3n's FML badges
  • It's in the can!

    Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
    100%
  • Consolation prize

    Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
    100%
  • Mobility

    You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
    600%
  • The thumb strikes back

    You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
    0%
  • The return of the thumb

    You have thumbed 5000 comments.
    0%
  • Keen reader – Level: student ninja

    You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    40%
  • Keen reader – Level: master ninja

    You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    12%
  • Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

    You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    212%
  • One more and it's business time

    You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.
    1%
The list of badges to find
Hallucinog3n's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to get a condom because my boyfriend and I were going to have sex for the first time. When I opened the drawer, I saw that every single condom had a Jesus pin stabbed through it, and a note on top of the box: "love mom." FML

By Noname - / Wednesday 25 February 2009 01:20 / United States

Today, cops showed up at my apartment demanding to look inside. Satisfied with the search, they told me they had received a noise complaint. More specifically, hearing screams someone believed a girl was getting raped. I had two friends over and we had been wrestling. The three of us are male. FML

By Obee - / Tuesday 14 April 2009 14:05 / Canada

Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML

By meteorbabe0101 - / Tuesday 14 April 2009 02:11 / United States

Today, I made the mistake of sneezing in front of a hyper religious customer, who for ten minutes blamed the incident of shifting weather patterns that signaled the return of Jesus, who was as she explained, upset about the abortion rates in America and President Obama. FML

By Anonymous - / Wednesday 8 April 2009 10:26 / United States

Today, I got back my math test. Instead of taking the time to mark the mistakes, my professor just circled the bottom half of the page and wrote "OMG." FML

By aviators - / Tuesday 7 April 2009 18:37 / United States