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  • I agree, my mouse works.

    200 "I agree" votes is a good start.
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    0%
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  • One more and it's business time

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Guitardedmetal's favorite FMLs

Today, while at the Golden Gate Bridge, I spotted a large group of Asians trying to take a picture. Trying to help, I slowly say, "You... want me... take picture?" while using hand motions. The man looks at me and says, "No thanks asshole, I got it," in plain English. FML

By Tourist - / Thursday 26 March 2009 07:19 / United States

Today, it was my first day at my new job. I had to break up two fistfights, then leave work early with a black eye. This is not what I had in mind when I applied to work at a retirement home. FML

By x_o - / Sunday 4 August 2013 20:51 / Hungary - ?ttev?ny

Today, my wife of 12 years informed me that the only sexual activity she is interested in is foreplay, and she absolutely doesn't want to go any further than that anymore. FML

By tigger2013 - / Saturday 3 August 2013 04:01 / Australia - Cheltenham

Today, I let my step-father know exactly what I thought of him. After a few moments of awkward silence, he leaned towards me and quietly whispered, "Well you're adopted. Your parents never loved you." FML

By SkeetinKeaton - / Wednesday 5 June 2013 15:24 / United States

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because she apparently saw me making out with her sister. She doesn't even have a sister. FML

By Anonymous / Saturday 18 May 2013 19:34 / United States - Coatesville