About Cawoods
Hey I'm me. That is all
Cawoods - Followers
Cawoods - Followed
Cawoods's FML badges
  • It's in the can!

    Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
  • Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

    You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    0%
  • Keen reader – Level: master ninja

    You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    0%
  • Keen reader – Level: student ninja

    You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    0%
  • The return of the thumb

    You have thumbed 5000 comments.
    0%
  • The thumb strikes back

    You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
    0%
  • Mobility

    You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
    26,100%
  • I moderated this!

    In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
    200%
  • Up and coming moderator

    It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
    71,700%
  • Who’s the fairest of them all?

    This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
    67%
  • I agree, my mouse works.

    200 "I agree" votes is a good start.
    9%
  • YDI Master

    You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.
    2%
  • Judgmental

    You have voted "You deserved it" over 100 times.
    8%
  • 50 favorites

    Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!
    72%
  • Consolation prize

    Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
    900%
  • 50 quality comments

    Clicking to reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried afterwards is even worthier.
    14%
  • A new thumb

    You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
    11%
  • 100 kick-ass comments

    100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
    23%
  • One more and it's business time

    You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.
    1%
The list of badges to find
Cawoods's favorite FMLs

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

By offbeans - / Tuesday 17 February 2009 02:29 / United States

Today, I locked myself out of the house I was house-sitting. An hour later, and my fifth attempt at climbing the fence, I figured I'd try the door one more time. Turns out I was turning the handle the wrong way and the door wasn't locked in the first place. FML

By ohhhemmgee / Thursday 6 September 2012 06:39 / United States - Reno

Today, an unknown number left me a lengthy voicemail of what sounds like two people having sex. This is the closest I've gotten to real-life sex in 2 years. I listened to it three times. FML

By anonymous - / Wednesday 5 September 2012 04:44 / Australia

Today, my dad wants me to spray a wasp nest, because I'm the fittest family member and can run the fastest. The wasps are already angry, and I'm allergic to them. FML

By iliveintexas / Saturday 1 September 2012 14:09 / United States - Tyler

Today, at college, we had a substitute philosophy teacher, because our professor is on bereavement leave. During his presentation, the sub managed to segue from the early works of Immanuel Kant straight into "the myth of the vaginal orgasm." I'm still shocked and highly confused. FML

By what.....? - / Friday 31 August 2012 23:40 / United States