About Asdfcvbnm
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    It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
  • Who’s the fairest of them all?

    This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
  • I agree, my mouse works.

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  • One more and it's business time

    You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.
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Asdfcvbnm's favorite FMLs

Today, I was making love to my fiancée, when she dug her nails into my back and told me to "choke" her like I did last night. I was at work last night. FML

By Anonymous - / Saturday 1 June 2013 07:51 / United States - Portland

Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. My card was declined, and I had to stand and watch in morbid fascination as the man behind me kindly paid for my purchase. His reason was "God forbid a maxed out Visa should get in the way of fucking." FML

By Samprib - / Saturday 1 June 2013 05:09 / United States - Indianapolis

Today, while grooming my horse, a spider crawled onto my ear. As if that was bad enough, I'm extremely arachnophobic, so I shrieked out of habit, which in turn caused my horse to freak out and kick me. FML

By HOLYCOW - / Saturday 23 January 2010 01:01 / Canada

Today, as I was lying on my bed with one of my arms hanging from the side, I felt something sniff my hand from underneath. I don't have any pets. FML

By scared-straight / Monday 27 May 2013 04:05 / United States

Today, a man asked about fishing in the river which flows beside where I work. I said you could, but anything you caught under 5 inches has to be thrown back. His wife then said, "Wish I knew that before I married him." I started to laugh. The man almost cried and complained to my boss. FML

By Anonymous - / Monday 27 May 2013 00:40 / United Kingdom - Maybole