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Aksoccerfreak's favorite FMLs

Today, I was meeting my boyfriend's family for the first time. The minute I stepped in the door his mother hit me in the face and kicked me out because I was "the slut her husband cheated on her with." My older sister and I look much alike. Too much alike. FML

By Anonymous - / Tuesday 11 June 2013 15:20 / United States - Seattle

Today, I started my job at a kids summer camp. The first little girl to arrive told me to close my eyes and open my hand because she had a "surprise" for me. Yep, a dead, decomposed sparrow covered in all sorts of bugs sure is a surprise. FML

By sydneyp3435 / Tuesday 11 June 2013 04:39 / United States - Boerne

Today, I found out that just because your boyfriend asks you to marry him doesn't mean that he will show up at the wedding. FML

By Loveless - / Monday 20 July 2009 01:06 / United States

Today, I arrived at my grandparents'. They already had guests so I had to sleep in the cottage. It wasn’t that bad until when I was making the bed I found a dead rotting possum in the blankets. When I told my grandmother, she simply said, "Deal with it, wimp." FML

By Anonymous / Tuesday 11 June 2013 02:04 / United States - Plano

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house. We'd been talking about the move where you pick a girl up and kiss, and how romantic that would be, so we decided to try it. When he picked me up, my head slammed against his ceiling fan. FML

By haleyart / Monday 10 June 2013 16:10 / United States - Shreveport