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  • I agree, my mouse works.

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Abandonedqwerty's favorite FMLs

Today, after years of insomnia and going to doctors to help get a regular sleeping pattern, I finally fell asleep without the help of medication, only to dream about being chased by an angry seal and singing to Rihanna with a horse. This is probably why I don't sleep. FML

By Sleepless - / Monday 3 February 2014 13:29 / Australia

Today, after working my shift at McDonalds, I went to clock in at my dispatch job. During a 911 call, I blurted, "Would you like to try the McRib while it's back?" FML

By Anonymous / Saturday 11 January 2014 02:25 / United States

Today, I mentioned on Facebook that I'll be out of town over the weekend, because I am attending my grandmother's funeral. I soon got comments saying "Pics or it didn't happen" and "Killed her for the inheritance, eh?" followed by a solitary "LOLLL". FML

By Anonymous - / Friday 23 August 2013 22:52 / New Zealand - Auckland

Today, my boss wanted to promote me to a managerial position. I declined the position saying I don't think I'm ready and experienced enough for that role. I was then fired instead for not accepting the promotion. I was fired for being honest. FML

By Jobless - / Thursday 12 March 2009 09:01 / Malaysia

Today, I was driving down a one-way street, when some raging dumbass came screaming the wrong way down the road at me. My instant reaction was to brake and give the guy a chance to do the same. His instant reaction was to keep going and wreck my car. FML

By hello higher premiums, fuckwad - / Sunday 25 August 2013 16:23 / Canada - Montr?al