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Wittlestalker's FML badges
  • Consolation prize

    Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
    100%
  • The thumb strikes back

    You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
    0%
  • The return of the thumb

    You have thumbed 5000 comments.
    0%
  • Keen reader – Level: student ninja

    You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    50%
  • Keen reader – Level: master ninja

    You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    17%
  • Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

    You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    8%
  • One more and it's business time

    You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.
    0%
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Wittlestalker's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out my blood type is B. My parents are type A and type O. It's not genetically possible to be blood type B if your parents are A and O. This means I am either an adoptee, a mutant, or an illegitimate child. FML

By hedgehog5 / Saturday 11 April 2009 19:14 / United States

Today, I was babysitting for a new family. While the father was telling me about bed times and how to reach him, their dog started humping my leg. As I tried to discreetly push the dog away, his paw got caught in the pocket of my huge sweatpants, pulling them down. I was wearing a thong. FML

By darlingditz - / Thursday 2 April 2009 23:05 / United States