About Torturedxeno
You merely adopted the doge. I was shaped by it, molded by it. I didn’t encounter a Cate until I was already a man.
Torturedxeno - Followers
Torturedxeno - Followed
Torturedxeno's FML badges
  • Beginner

    You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
  • Socialite

    You used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
  • Back from the party

    An FML submitted between 5 and 6 a.m. can't be very good.
  • Mobility

    You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
  • The rules are the rules

    Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by Alan, our moderator.
  • Work is a 4-letter word

    Voting on an FML in the "Work" category on a Monday morning between 8 and 9 a.m. How ironic.
  • Checking you out

    You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
  • Happy ending

    Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
  • Keen reader – Level: student ninja

    You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
  • Keen reader – Level: master ninja

    You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
  • I'm an early bird, but no worm yet

    You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 a.m.
  • Night owl

    You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 a.m.
  • This isn't what should be happening

    You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done, wrong turn. Go back.
  • I moderated this!

    In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
  • Up and coming moderator

    It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
  • Perfectionist

    Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
  • Profile completed

    You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
  • It's in the can!

    Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
  • 100 kick-ass comments

    100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
  • 50 quality comments

    Clicking to reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried afterwards is even worthier.
  • Consolation prize

    Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
  • I like your style

    You gave a Hug to someone. How cute!
  • Judgmental

    You have voted "You deserved it" over 100 times.
  • Who’s the fairest of them all?

    This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
  • I agree, my mouse works.

    200 "I agree" votes is a good start.
  • 50 favorites

    Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!
  • YDI Master

    You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.
  • One more and it's business time

    You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.
    9%
  • 42

    See, son, moderating FMLs is like a marathon.
    0%
  • Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

    You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    44%
  • A new thumb

    You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
    68%
  • Tell us what happened next

    You've commented on an FML that you sent in
    0%
  • Tweet, tweet

    You have shared 20 FMLs on Twitter, your followers love you and we understand why.
    0%
  • The return of the thumb

    You have thumbed 5000 comments.
    4%
  • I’m your new creative director

    You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.
    0%
  • Picture this FML

    You left your mark on an illustrated FML’s presentation blog article.
    0%
  • I liked to the power of 20

    You've liked 20 FMLs, and your Facebook friends are going to like the FMLs you liked.
    0%
  • My diary is a collector's item

    There were only 100 numbered VDM diaries for 2011/2012. I've got one.
    0%
  • The thumb strikes back

    You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
    7%
The list of badges to find
Torturedxeno's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to a veterans' reunion party with my grandpa. While there, a guy started yelling at me for having an unapproved haircut. It was my grandpa's old drill sergeant, and he thought I was in the army too. Everyone just smirked as he forced me to drop and do push-ups. FML

By Gomer - / Friday 11 April 2014 14:51 / United States - New York

Today, I was sitting in the coffee shop where my boyfriend and I used to go before he broke up with me about a week ago. I was missing him and wishing he was there, when all of a sudden this 14-year-old kid comes up to me and says, "He's not coming, you may as well go home." FML

By Anonymous / Thursday 27 March 2014 23:03 / Canada - Sackville

Today, I found out the real reason my boyfriend kept starting fights with me, and why my best friend kept telling me to break up with him. It was so they could turn their affair into a proper relationship, then twist it around to make me look like a bitch for dumping him. FML

By Anonymous - / Wednesday 12 February 2014 21:25 / Australia

Today, I got billed for $80 of Justin Bieber music. It wouldn't have been so bad if it were my daughter who bought it all, instead of my husband. FML

By husbands addiction / Wednesday 26 March 2014 18:00 / United States - San Francisco

Today, I finally finished watching Dexter. I was more disappointed by the finale than the picture I later received of my girlfriend cheating on me. FML

By disappointed / Tuesday 25 March 2014 11:36 / United States - West Fargo