About Joegrant
I'm fairly new to FML and I truly enjoy reading about other peoples' mishaps.
Joegrant - Followers
Joegrant - Followed
Joegrant's FML badges
  • Profile completed

    You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
  • Night owl

    You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 a.m.
  • Keen reader – Level: master ninja

    You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
  • Keen reader – Level: student ninja

    You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
  • Mobility

    You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
  • I moderated this!

    In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
  • Up and coming moderator

    It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
  • It's in the can!

    Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
  • 50 favorites

    Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!
  • Consolation prize

    Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
  • 50 quality comments

    Clicking to reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried afterwards is even worthier.
  • 100 kick-ass comments

    100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
  • Judgmental

    You have voted "You deserved it" over 100 times.
    45%
  • 42

    See, son, moderating FMLs is like a marathon.
    0%
  • Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

    You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    0%
  • A new thumb

    You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
    40%
  • The return of the thumb

    You have thumbed 5000 comments.
    6%
  • The thumb strikes back

    You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
    12%
  • Who’s the fairest of them all?

    This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
    67%
  • I agree, my mouse works.

    200 "I agree" votes is a good start.
    5%
  • YDI Master

    You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.
    9%
  • One more and it's business time

    You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.
    3%
The list of badges to find
Joegrant's favorite FMLs

Today, my dog farted next to my CPAP sleep/breathing machine. The machine sucked up her fart, compressed it, and promptly injected it up both of my nostrils. FML

By Dog fart / Saturday 13 February 2010 16:08 / United States

Today, it's been a little over a month since my dad started taking yoga lessons. We always joked around behind his back that he was just doing it so he could get flexible enough to suck himself off. Well, that joke was confirmed as reality when I walked in on him trying just that. FML

By bleach bleach bleach - / Sunday 22 December 2013 17:22 / United States - Las Vegas

Today, a classmate's mother called my phone, threatening to have my dorm room raided for drugs. Why? She saw our text messages discussing where he would pick up the textbook I borrowed and thought it was the new "code name" for weed. FML

By a.white / Wednesday 11 December 2013 11:58 / United States - Cheltenham

Today, I was chatting with my mother. She was telling me about some new mouthwash she recently got, and the moment the word "gargle" escaped her lips, my husband muttered just a little too loudly from the kitchen, "How about gargling my balls instead, bitch." Our family is now at war. FML

By Anonymous - / Sunday 8 December 2013 20:39 / United States

Today, I called the police to report that my car had been keyed. I remember going to a bar last night and getting drunk. A surveillance camera revealed that after my drunken self couldn't unlock the door to my car, I punched the door and hurt my fist so bad that I keyed my own car. FML

By car keyer - / Monday 2 December 2013 06:41 / United States - Mary Esther