About Jaaared_
I play guitar. I'm getting my pilot's license.
Jaaared_ - Followers
Jaaared_ - Followed
Hugged!
Jaaared_'s FML badges
  • I like your style

    You gave a Hug to someone. How cute!
  • Night owl

    You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 a.m.
  • Checking you out

    You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
  • Mobility

    You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
  • Socialite

    You used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
  • I moderated this!

    In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
  • Up and coming moderator

    It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
  • Who’s the fairest of them all?

    This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
  • I agree, my mouse works.

    200 "I agree" votes is a good start.
  • YDI Master

    You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.
  • Judgmental

    You have voted "You deserved it" over 100 times.
  • 50 favorites

    Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!
  • Consolation prize

    Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
  • Profile completed

    You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
  • It's in the can!

    Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
  • One more and it's business time

    You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.
    1%
  • Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

    You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    0%
  • Keen reader – Level: master ninja

    You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    0%
  • Keen reader – Level: student ninja

    You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    0%
  • The return of the thumb

    You have thumbed 5000 comments.
    16%
  • The thumb strikes back

    You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
    33%
  • 100 kick-ass comments

    100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
    30%
  • A new thumb

    You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
    82%
  • 50 quality comments

    Clicking to reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried afterwards is even worthier.
    26%
  • Beginner

    You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
    60%
The list of badges to find
Jaaared_'s favorite FMLs

Today, I surprise my girlfriend by turning up at her flat on her twenty-fourth birthday. She gets up from the couch as I enter and I shout: "Tonight, my cock is going to stab you twenty-four times!" (Okay, that's not smart). That's when her father glances over from the couch and greets me. FML

By Mateo / Sunday 14 December 2008 03:58 / France

Today, my friends and I were talking about our celebrity lookalikes. We decided that my friends all had attractive celebrity lookalikes, including Scarlett Johansson and Hayden Panettiere. When it was my turn, they decided that my "celebrity" lookalike is the Pillsbury Doughboy. FML

By KD - / Sunday 4 January 2015 21:53 / United States - Simi Valley

Today, my mother has issued a 'Christmas Ultimatum'. The rest of us have exactly 2 days to "get some Christmas around here" or we will feel her wrath. FML

By Anonymous - / Monday 8 December 2014 23:11 / United States - Falls Church

Today, I snooped around my parents' room looking for hidden Christmas presents. The only hidden things I found was a whip, two ball gags, several other sex toys, and a load of newspaper clippings about the JFK assassination. What the fuck? FML

By .__. - / Sunday 7 December 2014 08:10 / United Kingdom - Wembley

Today, I farted while I was in the car with my driving instructor and my partner. They couldn't hear it, but it smelled so bad that my instructor thought there was a gas leak, and he made us switch cars. FML

By Gassy and sassy - / Sunday 7 December 2014 06:15 / United States - Philadelphia