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Hmmm_userne's favorite FMLs

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

By offbeans - / Tuesday 17 February 2009 02:29 / United States

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me during a funeral. FML

By Anonymous / Saturday 21 December 2013 06:26 / United States - New York

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Just as he was about to finish, he pulled out and came in his hand. He then flicked his hand towards my face and yelled, "Sha-ZAM!" FML

By zamwow - / Friday 20 December 2013 23:36 / United States - Ridgefield Park

Today, after getting a root canal, I told my mother how boring it was just sitting there with my mouth open for ages while the dentist did his work. She then told me how she had to do the same kind of thing on her anniversary night with my father. FML

By Anonymous - / Saturday 23 November 2013 21:57 / Argentina

Today, I forgot I left my tampons in a grocery bag packed with food that I put into the fridge. I realized two hours later while frantically looking for a tampon. I'm still cold down there. FML

By InsertPopcicle - / Friday 22 November 2013 06:53 / United States