About Dirkthediggler
I spelunk. I have a lot of Nerf guns. Everyday is taco Tuesday!
Dirkthediggler - Followers
Dirkthediggler - Followed
Dirkthediggler's FML badges
  • Profile completed

    You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
  • Night owl

    You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 a.m.
  • Keen reader – Level: master ninja

    You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
  • Keen reader – Level: student ninja

    You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
  • Mobility

    You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
  • Socialite

    You used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
  • I moderated this!

    In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
  • Up and coming moderator

    It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
  • I agree, my mouse works.

    200 "I agree" votes is a good start.
  • YDI Master

    You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.
  • It's in the can!

    Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
  • Judgmental

    You have voted "You deserved it" over 100 times.
  • Consolation prize

    Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
  • Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

    You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    2%
  • 100 kick-ass comments

    100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
    12%
  • A new thumb

    You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
    7%
  • The return of the thumb

    You have thumbed 5000 comments.
    1%
  • The thumb strikes back

    You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
    3%
  • 50 quality comments

    Clicking to reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried afterwards is even worthier.
    4%
  • 50 favorites

    Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!
    12%
  • Who’s the fairest of them all?

    This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
    33%
  • One more and it's business time

    You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.
    1%
The list of badges to find
Dirkthediggler's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend of six days proposed to me. FML

By The Clitshank Redemption - / Wednesday 5 June 2013 23:11 / United Kingdom - Cambridge

Today, at karate, my sparring partner thought it was completely okay to surprise kick me in the vagina. When he saw me doubled over in pain, he was completely surprised. Apparently, he thought that it wouldn't hurt, because I have no penis. FML

By Mayyouneverfindpleasureinavagina - / Saturday 1 June 2013 04:31 / United States - Garden Grove

Today, I confessed to my girlfriend that I cheated on her. She told me that she needed time to think, and left. An hour later, her dad came by with a baseball bat. FML

By Anonymous - / Tuesday 28 May 2013 16:51 / United States - Ozark

Today, I was walking down the stairs with my guitar in hand, singing "I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing" to my wife. I sang, "I don't wanna close my eyes, I don't wanna fall". Before I could say "asleep", I fell down the stairs. My wife almost pissed her pants laughing. My bum hurts. FML

By Anonymous / Tuesday 28 May 2013 16:37 / Australia - Lane Cove

Today, my car was stolen from the parking garage, the same one I work at as a security guard. FML

By naps aren't what they used to be - / Saturday 27 April 2013 22:05 / United States