About Deadxtime
Just a dude here to read some FMLs
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Deadxtime's FML badges
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  • Who’s the fairest of them all?

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  • The return of the thumb

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    3%
  • I agree, my mouse works.

    200 "I agree" votes is a good start.
    54%
  • YDI Master

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  • 42

    See, son, moderating FMLs is like a marathon.
    0%
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    2%
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    6%
  • Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

    You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    1%
The list of badges to find
Deadxtime's favorite FMLs

Today, at my job as a night janitor, at which I work alone, I saw an old man enter a bathroom. When I went to investigate, it was completely empty. I'm now scared to work. FML

By scared shitless - / Tuesday 10 December 2013 09:50 / United States - San Francisco

Today, I was telling my friends a story. I added a few "embellishments" to make it more intense. One my friends piped up with, "I was with you, half of what you just said wasn't true". It's now all over Facebook and I'm known as "The Bullshitter". FML

By Anonymous / Monday 4 November 2013 11:39 /

Today, a few freshmen jumped my fence. They decided to take a dip in the pool, so I pulled out a paintball gun. I unloaded over 100 rounds, painting their backs bright yellow. It also dyed my pool yellow, and it'll apparently cost around $500 to repair. FML

By pool party / Wednesday 29 May 2013 00:48 / United States - Rockford

Today, my dentist dropped dead of a heart attack. This depressing event was made worse by the fact that he collapsed while his hands were in my mouth. FML

By Kat_Styles / Friday 19 July 2013 08:51 / United States - Dearborn

Today, at a family reunion, my visibly drunk grandparents heard about my new boyfriend, who is a cop. My gran asked if he ever made me feel like Rodney King in the bedroom. Then my grandpa, fresh off a DUI, asked if my boyfriend's dick is as bent as the police force. FML

By Anonymous - / Saturday 15 June 2013 17:22 / United States - Seattle