About Cole_jw
I tend to think I'm a cool guy.
Cole_jw - Followers
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Cole_jw's FML badges
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  • Socialite

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  • I agree, my mouse works.

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  • YDI Master

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  • One more and it's business time

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  • 100 kick-ass comments

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Cole_jw's favorite FMLs

Today, I surprise my girlfriend by turning up at her flat on her twenty-fourth birthday. She gets up from the couch as I enter and I shout: "Tonight, my cock is going to stab you twenty-four times!" (Okay, that's not smart). That's when her father glances over from the couch and greets me. FML

By Mateo / Sunday 14 December 2008 03:58 / France

Today, my mom found my dildo, and got so angry that she beat me with it. FML

By Anonymous / Monday 1 December 2014 17:55 / United States

Today, I sat down for a poop. The toilet seat slid off immediately, taking me with it. I lay on the bathroom floor for several moments stunned, still pooping. FML

By pooplife / Sunday 30 November 2014 19:32 / United Kingdom - Nottingham

Today, I asked my girlfriend's father for permission to take his daughter's hand in marriage. He asked me "Which one?" I said "Uh, the one I'm dating... Lisa." He belched and said, "Yeah sure, throw 'er off a cliff for all I care. Piss off, boy." So much for chivalry. FML

By Anonymous - / Saturday 29 November 2014 21:54 / United States - North Adams

Today, I got in trouble for shooting my paintball gun at a piece of wood, so my dad told me to go wash it. While I was washing it, he shot me several times in the back, yelling, "That's payback for being born." FML

By no / Monday 17 November 2014 02:26 / United States