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  • Keen reader – Level: master ninja

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  • Keen reader – Level: student ninja

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  • The return of the thumb

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  • Work is a 4-letter word

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  • I agree, my mouse works.

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  • Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

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    23%
  • One more and it's business time

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Clear_to_me_now's favorite FMLs

Today, I received a phone call that started with, "Now stay calm... Your house is on fire." FML

By Anonymous / Tuesday 13 August 2013 02:54 / United States - Denver

Today, while taking a walk in the forest, someone approached me and asked to borrow the knife I had clipped to my pocket. I happily obliged, assuming he just needed it as a tool. Instead, he used the knife to mug me, taking my cellphone and my wallet. I was robbed with my own knife. FML

By vmml97 - / Thursday 1 August 2013 04:32 / United States - Erie

Today, I woke up to a flooded basement. That basement is my bedroom, so I'm completely surrounded by water. All I need is a tiger and this would be like The Life of Pi. FML

By Anonymous - / Friday 28 June 2013 18:07 / Egypt - Cairo

Today, I crawled into bed with my boyfriend. He was snoring loudly which is how I knew he was passed out cold. Once I was under the blanket next to him, he slowly turned over, stared me straight in the face and said, "I have to kill you". Then started snoring again. FML

By mtr1594 / Wednesday 31 July 2013 06:47 / United States - Henderson

Today, my grandma walked into my house drunk. She was mumbling something about her being a badass because she beat someone with a pool stick at a bar. She's 68 years old. FML

By dareyale - / Friday 26 July 2013 06:10 / United States - Bessemer