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  • Keen reader – Level: master ninja

    You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
  • Keen reader – Level: student ninja

    You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
  • Work is a 4-letter word

    Voting on an FML in the "Work" category on a Monday morning between 8 and 9 a.m. How ironic.
  • Mobility

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  • I moderated this!

    In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
  • Up and coming moderator

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  • I agree, my mouse works.

    200 "I agree" votes is a good start.
  • Judgmental

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  • Who’s the fairest of them all?

    This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
    33%
  • 42

    See, son, moderating FMLs is like a marathon.
    0%
  • Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

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    2%
  • It's in the can!

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  • The return of the thumb

    You have thumbed 5000 comments.
    13%
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    26%
  • YDI Master

    You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.
    98%
  • One more and it's business time

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    0%
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Bint_al_wadi's favorite FMLs

Today, I was wearing a letterman jacket that had my school name and "Okinawa Japan" on the back. A high school kid walks up to me and says, "I can't forgive you people for bombing Pearl Harbor." I'm black. FML

By The_FN_Gunny / Tuesday 29 October 2013 22:31 / United States - Smyrna

Today, I taught my kid how to mow the lawn. It's a self-propelling mower so it's easy to handle. My kid thought it would be smart to tie the handle down so that he wouldn't have to push it at all. This resulted in the lawn mower blasting through our fence and sinking into my neighbor's pool. FML

By Anonymous - / Thursday 12 September 2013 05:18 / United States

Today, I went to my first class of the year. The first thing the teacher said was, "I hate this f*cking school." FML

By swana99 / Wednesday 4 September 2013 20:39 / United States - Woburn

Today, at my boyfriend's brother's house, I desperately needed to poop. After finishing my business, I realized the toilet wouldn't flush. I had to pull my poop out, wrap it in TP and make an excuse to go outside to throw it in a bush. The neighbor was watching. FML

By heyhijello / Monday 9 September 2013 22:05 / United States - Oakland

Today, my entire gym class had to run the 1600 with our coach calling out finishing times. My finishing time was reported as "3 days short of a year." FML

By Anonymous / Wednesday 4 September 2013 17:28 / United States - Dell Rapids