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Andrewg26's favorite FMLs

Today, I got really bored so I posted on Facebook "Someone should kidnap me for the day." My mom commented, "The only things willing to kidnap you are aliens, and that would be because they'd mistaken you for a cow." 16 people liked her comment. FML

By LonerCow - / Friday 20 January 2012 15:15 / United States

Today, I had a nightmare in which I was haunted by the ghost of my foreskin. I then spent the whole day moping around, wondering what my life would've been like if my parents hadn't opted to slice it off. Will I see you in heaven, long-lost ghostly foreskin? FML

By MissYouPieceOfSkin - / Wednesday 27 November 2013 08:44 / United States - Kirkland

Today, I watched a little girl laugh while giving bread to some pigeons at a bus stop. A bus then arrived. All the pigeons moved out of the away, except one. Its head got crushed by a wheel, and some blood splattered onto the little girl's shoes, who then screamed. With laughter. FML

By B_and_W / Thursday 21 November 2013 11:35 / France

Today, my girlfriend tried explaining a duck flying into our living room and taking a shit everywhere as "paranormal activity". FML

By Anonymous - / Wednesday 20 November 2013 01:09 / United States - Minneapolis

Today, in the lunch line at school, a kid literally ordered a "hamburger with extra swag." FML

By thank god you'll only live once - / Friday 8 November 2013 20:12 / Canada - Hamilton