Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my wife pressed a button in the elevator and quickly ran out, leaving me in there with my crying baby. When the elevator arrived at the floor, the doors opened on a wedding reception. The doors couldn't have taken any longer to close again FML

#21276854
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36664) - you deserved it (3572)

On 10/13/2014 at 11:42am - kids - by Anonymous - Australia (South Australia)

Today, my boss chewed me out for correcting several spelling and grammar mistakes in one of his reports. The words "Think you're so damn smart, don't ya?" were uttered. I'm his secretary, and proofreading his shit is part of my job. FML

#21243125
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42379) - you deserved it (2682)

On 08/22/2014 at 12:56pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I was checking out of a hotel when I saw some complementary mints. They weren't mints. They were glass beads. FML

Today, I was in the middle of a shower, and downstairs I heard my 7 year old daughter screaming "Mom!! Help! I need you right now!" I panicked and ran downstairs, not giving myself enough time to put some clothing on. It was my neighbor at the door. FML

#21293802
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33256) - you deserved it (3210)

On 11/06/2014 at 11:29pm - kids - by ozozl - United States (Colorado)

Today, I got sick at school. When someone called my mom for permission for me to leave, she told them she doesn't have a daughter and to never call that number again. FML

Today, my girlfriend of two years broke up with me because of the scratch marks on my back. I didn't have the nerve to tell her I tried to shower with the cat. FML

#21300928
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19128) - you deserved it (30703)

On 11/17/2014 at 7:56pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, someone in my class referred to the September 11th attacks as "Nine-Elevs". FML

#21255951
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36507) - you deserved it (3086)

On 09/10/2014 at 9:47pm - misc - by no - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was outside with my two new kittens. A woman came rushing over, saying how glad she was that they were outside. She then started complaining that she had only been able to see them through the windows previously. I have no idea who she is or where she lives. FML

#21389096
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29645) - you deserved it (1993)

On 04/07/2015 at 3:14am - animals - by cat.imakittycat. (woman) - New Zealand (Taranaki)

Today, my brother got the same cologne as the guy I've been seeing for a while. Every time I'm with my brother I think about him, and every time I'm with him I think about my brother. FML

#21259922
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39702) - you deserved it (4118)

On 09/17/2014 at 7:46am - love - by Anonymous - United States (South Carolina)

Today, since my finals are starting tomorrow, I made a joke about setting my math books on fire. I laughed. Friends laughed. Parents laughed. Guess what subject just managed to actually get in touch with my scented candles? FML

#21315641
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26715) - you deserved it (5842)

On 12/11/2014 at 2:55pm - misc - by not laughing anymore - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I witnessed a hit-and-run. I used my phone to write down the license plate for the police. However, I didn't notice that my phone had autocorrected the number. FML

#21291857
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34944) - you deserved it (3864)

On 11/04/2014 at 9:01am - misc - by fuckshit (man) -

Today, I took my Spanish exam. One of the questions was to translate "Mark is lazy and antisocial." My name is Mark. Everyone kept giving me weird looks the whole test. FML

#21316211
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29047) - you deserved it (2288)

On 12/12/2014 at 1:46pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after my first day at work at a local daycare, I found out that I'm not entitled to breaks because I'm the only worker there who doesn't smoke. My boss asked me, ''What do you need a break for?'' FML

#21284495
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36371) - you deserved it (2563)

On 10/24/2014 at 4:52pm - work - by Anonymous - Ireland (Dublin)



FML's blog

  • Elaillce's illustrated FML
  • So, did you catch the game this week? You know, the one with the ball, the scoring and all that stuff. Isn't that how you're supposed to talk to people? OK, I know nothing about sports and teams, but I…

Friday 17 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: