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Today, my husband used the vacuum cleaner. Proud of him for this first-ever initiative, I congratulated him. His second initiative was to stick the nozzle on my ass, yelling, "Liposuction!" FML

#21380706
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26934) - you deserved it (4423) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/24/2015 at 8:58am - love - by chassezlenaturel (woman) - Belgium

Today, I witnessed my roommate telling a girl that he has "really healthy shits". I wanted to make fun of him, but he got laid by said girl and I went home to jerk off. FML

#21108665
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45147) - you deserved it (7426)

On 04/09/2014 at 5:12pm - intimacy - by damn (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, the passport office informed me I won't get my passport in time to go on holidays. However, they took the money for the passport out of my account 2 months ago, causing me to go overdrawn, and not pay my travel insurance. The same insurance I needed to get the cost of the holiday back. FML

#9350215
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27077) - you deserved it (4341)

On 03/24/2010 at 8:11am - misc - by Clauric (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I was getting a haircut. The lady accusingly told me she'd have to thoroughly wash my hair before she started, as it was way too greasy to cut through. FML

#20473123
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9134) - you deserved it (41811)

On 01/22/2013 at 2:18pm - misc - by Whoops (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I discovered that my cat recently had explosive diarrhea, and couldn't make it to the litterbox in time. I discovered this when I stepped in the very, very fresh poop with my bare feet. FML

#20503744
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28477) - you deserved it (3894)

On 02/12/2013 at 3:15pm - animals - by Turdfoot (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I saw my car being broken into on the street below my apartment. Too scared to stop them myself, I called the police. Before I could even tell them what was going on, they put me on hold. It was a good 5 minutes before I realized they'd hung up on me. FML

#20524817
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28310) - you deserved it (3499)

On 02/27/2013 at 7:42pm - misc - by forgotten - United States (Arizona)

Today, my fiancé called me as I was clocking out. I thought he was going to tell me that he was waiting outside. Instead, he told me that he's getting arrested and needs me to call his mom for him. FML

#20529036
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27735) - you deserved it (2662)

On 03/03/2013 at 3:27am - misc - by addie (woman) - United States

Today, I found that someone had paid off my $16,500 student loan. I was so excited that I called my family and posted on Facebook about how awesome it was. Then I called the loan company and found out that they had just sold my loan to another company; no one had actually paid it off. FML

#20525305
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25582) - you deserved it (12410)

On 02/28/2013 at 2:19am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I woke up with a giant red rash all over my face, so puffed up that I could hardly open my eyes. The doctor said it was probably from some of the compounds found in most makeup. I'm just getting into theatre and have auditions coming up. FML

#20549343
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30944) - you deserved it (3603)

On 03/18/2013 at 2:42pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my car got broken into. A small folded plastic bag and a few toothpicks I got from a restaurant were stolen. It's going to cost me a few hundred bucks to fix and clean my car over a 10 cent bag and a few free toothpicks. FML

#20543135
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28951) - you deserved it (2246)

On 03/14/2013 at 4:52am - money - by ScrewedForCheapBag - United States (California)

Today, I was on a bumpy bus ride and had to write a note, so I held my notebook against the bus window to steady my hand. An elderly woman then yelled at me, accusing me of drawing graffiti on the window. The bus driver kicked me off and I had to wait an hour in the rain for the next bus. FML

#20561950
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33528) - you deserved it (2612)

On 03/27/2013 at 1:41am - misc - by 00sasori - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I returned from a 5-day cruise for my senior spring break, filled with gorgeous sorority girls from all over the country. I was seasick the whole time. FML

#20553243
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29400) - you deserved it (4761)

On 03/21/2013 at 1:59am - misc - by captainlame (man) - United States

Today, I was at a goodbye dinner with friends before I move back to America. A friend called to cry over relationship problems she refuses to fix. While I was outside trying to politely get off the phone, my friends ate and drank everything I'd ordered and closed the bill. FML

#20559208
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31493) - you deserved it (5601)

On 03/25/2013 at 9:13am - misc - by sorryyouweregone - Japan (Tokyo)



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  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

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