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Today, my girlfriend and I went to a bar during Irishfest. When I returned to my girlfriend she was crying and told me that this guy pushed her. I confronted the guy and poured my beer on him who just happened to be the chief of police. He was trying to make room for a guy in a wheelchair. FML

#5313316
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12397) - you deserved it (50856)

On 09/17/2009 at 2:41pm - misc - by nV1ous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, on my way home from watching a movie with a girl, I began having an erection because I thought I could kiss her goodnight. She dropped me off at home, and with my full blown erection, I walked in front of her car with the headlights on. FML

#15767
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12394) - you deserved it (42606)

On 02/08/2009 at 8:01pm - intimacy - by dgordo3 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend and I were fooling around in his car when things got hot and heavy and we decided to climb in the back. After we finished we started to put our clothes back just as a someone's brights flooded into the car. It was a cop, and he had been there the entire time. FML

#5180905
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12377) - you deserved it (36159)

On 09/11/2009 at 12:23am - love - by suzanneallen (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up after a night of drinking in my backyard. All I was wearing were my boxers and one sock. I staggered up to see my car halfway through my garage wall with a note saying "Sorry Dude". FML

#5655970
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12368) - you deserved it (39079)

On 10/05/2009 at 1:11am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, stepping on a scale for the first time in years, I had to lift up my stomach to see the number. FML

#18520794
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12368) - you deserved it (39900)

On 12/15/2011 at 4:52pm - health - by ms piggy - United States

Today, I thought it would be funny to touch my girlfriend's back with my cold hands. She thought it would be funny to crush my left testicle with her knee as I was trying to fall asleep. FML

#6378966
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12367) - you deserved it (35882)

On 11/20/2009 at 10:51am - love - by inpain (man) - United States (California)

Today, I approached the girl I like, hoping to ask her out. Just as I strode up to her, she excused herself as quickly as she could. I then realized I'd forgotten to zip up my pants after going to the bathroom minutes before. FML

#19227249
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12365) - you deserved it (19915)

On 03/06/2012 at 1:55pm - love - by Tommy (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was in an elevator, and the hot girl who lives in my building and who I have a crush on got in. She was in a wheelchair with a broken leg, I panicked and tried to flirt with her, and I said 'Nice chair.' She replied 'Nice bruise' and punched me in the nuts. FML

#7766878
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12363) - you deserved it (47189)

On 02/01/2010 at 12:15am - love - by Liam. - Sent from mobile version

Today, I decided to modify my resume since I've handed out over 30 of them in the past couple of weeks and I haven't gotten any calls back. As soon as I opened it on word document, I noticed that I had forgotten to include my phone number for employers to contact me. FML

#1630786
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12360) - you deserved it (69237)

On 05/04/2009 at 4:15pm - work - by Loser (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was in bed with my cat on my lap. No one was around, so I felt comfortable enough to let out a huge fart. What I didn't expect was my cat jumping up and then clawing and biting my crotch. FML

#6971032
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12342) - you deserved it (25368)

On 12/27/2009 at 8:04am - animals - by axwound (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I wore a beautiful new dress that I got for £5 only in a sale. I've been turning heads in it all day. When I got home, my mum pulled the massive red £5 tag off of the back. FML

#5620277
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12341) - you deserved it (35394)

On 10/03/2009 at 11:38am - misc - by Adalia (woman) - United Kingdom (Bournemouth)

Today, the alarm on my phone went off. I picked it up, hit snooze, and dropped it back on my desk without looking. I woke up an hour later to find that I had dropped it directly in a full glass of water. FML

#13889
9 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12338) - you deserved it (23636)

On 02/07/2009 at 7:53pm - misc - by tarheels526 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I texted my Dad to tell him I'm staying at my boyfriend's house and won't be home. Since I had predictive text on, my phone didn't quite get the word 'home' - the message I sent said, 'I'm staying at Will's, I'll not be good tonight.' FML

#6852058
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12331) - you deserved it (25499)

On 12/20/2009 at 7:26pm - love - by embarrassed (woman) - United Kingdom (Belfast)



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