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Today, I was assigned to a group of four to brainstorm ideas for a project. One by one they listed their ideas, but when it was my turn they skipped me. They suddenly started a casual conversation with each other, oblivious of my existence, while I sat quietly between them for an hour. FML

by Anonymous / 11/19/2015 at 4:46am / United States (Wisconsin) / Work

Today, my boyfriend told me to text him when I got home to let him know I'd made it home safe. He said if I didn't, he'd assume that aliens had abducted me and that he'd get a new girlfriend. He was completely serious. FML

by TaffyMichele / 09/13/2012 at 7:38pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, my new neighbours moved in. I've neither seen nor spoken to them yet; all I know is that they enjoy hammering at the walls for hours on end and repeatedly setting off the fire alarm. All this in the small hours of the morning. I got two hours of sleep. FML

by Anonymous / 05/01/2012 at 3:51pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got demoted at my job. Instead of working with patients, they want me to file. The thing is, I'm a volunteer; I work for them for free. FML

by wasted_life / 01/17/2009 at 10:44pm / United States (Minnesota) / Work

Today, I realized I wasn't getting notifications for my voicemail, so I decided to check it and found out that I had 3 job offerings that are no longer an option. FML

by thanks iphone / 01/30/2016 at 4:05pm / United States (Kentucky) / Work

Today, I was outside talking to my new neighbor. I was gesturing while talking and didn't notice the little kid riding her bike coming our way. I ended up accidentally smacking her in the face and knocking her off her bike. Apparently she's my new neighbor's daughter. Welcome to the neighborhood. FML

by Anonymous / 08/29/2015 at 3:10pm / United States (Ohio) / Kids

Today, I got my paycheck. I was really excited since I've been broke for the last two weeks. On my way home, I got pulled over and got a ticket for expired tags. The $90 for new tags plus $135 for the citation will leave me with enough to buy a burger. FML

by fuckcops / 06/13/2011 at 3:06pm / United States (Michigan) / Money

Today, I awoke in the midst of the night to find my half-naked dad drunkenly arguing with the microwave. FML

by mountains / 11/18/2012 at 7:47pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I yet again heard a friend say "YOLO" as if it's a word. It was so annoying that I had to restrain myself from punching him in the face and offering him the chance to suck on one of my turds, since apparently "YOLO." FML

by Anonymous / 04/24/2012 at 12:44am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, the only thing that cheered me up was a documentary about IKEA, and seeing how my furniture was made. FML

by sadgirl / 02/28/2012 at 10:51am / Netherlands (Noord-Holland) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom celebrated a year's sobriety by having a couple of beers with her boyfriend. FML

by ur_life_dus_suck / 01/21/2016 at 8:08am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked my girlfriend home. As I kissed her goodbye, I heard a high-pitched scream and turned just in time to see her little brother charge head-first into my nuts. All because I kissed her on the cheek. FML

by Racked / 03/01/2016 at 1:00pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, my daughter was going to Bulk Barn so I asked her to pick me up something to snack on. When she got home, she brought over a bag and without listening to her explain what it was, I began eating it. She looked at me confused, then began laughing. It was a dog treat. FML

by oops... / 09/12/2014 at 1:50am / Canada (Alberta) / Kids