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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I checked an old photosharing account. I got a new phone last year and didn't realize all the pictures I took with the new phone would still automatically upload to my account. Unknowingly, I posted naked pics of myself online. Not one of my friends told me. FML

#3884165
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13912) - you deserved it (51337)

On 07/19/2009 at 4:14pm - misc - by nudie (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I thought my online boyfriend was calling me, so the first line I said was "Hey, Baby." His wife answered with, "This is Jenny. Who's this?" After speaking for thirty minutes, I found out he's married, fifty-eight, and has two kids. I'm seventeen. FML

#6352873
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13904) - you deserved it (67369)

On 11/18/2009 at 10:09am - misc - by omgitserika - United States (California)

Today, after pulling an all-nighter, I had the pleasure of meeting my girlfriend's mother for the very first time. She walked in on me in the bathroom; I'd completely lost focus and fallen asleep while taking a shit. FML

#14326550
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13899) - you deserved it (24574)

On 12/24/2010 at 6:49pm - love - by Username - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I was eating dinner with my family. My parents didn't want me to hear what they were talking about so they decided they would spell out the words so I wouldn't understand. I didn't. FML

#4299271
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13897) - you deserved it (55305)

On 08/05/2009 at 1:15am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend said he wanted to marry me. Since he doesn't know my ring size he asked for me to find a ring that I liked and he would buy it and propose. The only problem is that he won't spend more than 200 dollars on it. Oh the generosity. FML

#9062529
448 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13893) - you deserved it (33273)

On 03/14/2010 at 12:04am - love - by anonymous - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I shaved my legs and pits for the first time this summer. It took 3 disposable razors and an hour to get the job done. I've clearly been single for far too long. FML

#10645029
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13891) - you deserved it (42966)

On 05/20/2010 at 7:04am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after 30 minutes of pre-heating the oven to make a special meatloaf for my husband's birthday, I remembered that I had hidden the cake in there. FML

#13701417
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13890) - you deserved it (27316)

On 11/03/2010 at 1:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I spent the entire day packing my car full of boxes for my move tomorrow. When I finally finished, I realized I didn't have the car key. It's inside one of the boxes. FML

#5618503
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13888) - you deserved it (29517)

On 10/03/2009 at 8:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, being a big believer in karma, I found it fitting that a girl that was always a bitch to me in high school is now fat and ugly. After sending one of her recent pictures with a mean caption to a few of my friends, I tripped and sprained my wrist falling up the stairs. Karma. FML

#4550264
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13885) - you deserved it (52404)

On 08/15/2009 at 2:51pm - misc - by whatgoesaround (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I woke up screaming after a nightmare about clowns, which wouldn't be too bad if I hadn't been surrounded by coworkers. FML

#15274441
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13885) - you deserved it (25624)

On 03/11/2011 at 11:05am - work - by scaredofbozo -

Today, I have a degree in electrical engineering, my wife was doing a crossword and asked me what are the units of capacitance, I couldn't remember. FML

#967
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13882) - you deserved it (7732)

On 01/11/2009 at 11:46am - misc - by jibjab - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I learned that when a man in the row in front of you at a movie theater tells you to shut up, you shouldn't tell him to fuck off. He might be 6'4 with a short temper. FML

#21337906
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13874) - you deserved it (44563)

On 01/15/2015 at 10:15pm - misc - by whoops.. (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my co-worker came back from Thailand with big new breasts. She told me to go ahead and touch them because they have a funny texture for the first few months. When our GM entered the room, I had both hands down my co-worker's shirt, agreeing that they were unnaturally firm. FML

#5163835
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13868) - you deserved it (36307)

On 09/10/2009 at 2:57am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)



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