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Today, I was putting red nail polish on my nails and put a newspaper on the table to make sure that it didn't spill. I later discovered the nail polish made the newspaper stick to the table. I scrubbed nail polish remover on it, thinking it would help but instead bleached the table. FML

#15841509
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11632) - you deserved it (35818)

On 04/18/2011 at 11:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was walking around Walmart feeling pretty good about myself as I received numerous looks from guys in passing. All of a sudden a man approached me to tell me that my dress was extremely see-through. And, since I was wearing a thong, he and everyone else could totally see my ass. FML

#4178652
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11631) - you deserved it (54864)

On 07/31/2009 at 9:43am - misc - by EmBAREassed (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I started work as the head engineer for a big civil engineering project. I met the rest of my team, in particular the environmental engineer who I'll need to get along with the most. As it turns out, I took her virginity when we were freshmen in college. She still thinks I'm an asshole. FML

#7565931
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11626) - you deserved it (33937)

On 01/25/2010 at 8:32am - love - by CivE (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was on the plane asleep. I woke up after feeling the plane jolt and I screamed at the top of my lungs. The little girl next to me told me I was a sissy. Everyone on the plane laughed. FML

#14494706
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11622) - you deserved it (26837)

On 01/07/2011 at 6:24am - kids - by G-6 -

Today, I walked through my college dorm and a freshman was watching some overly dramatic show on her laptop. I smiled and asked if it was a new episode of 'Gossip Girl.' She was on a video chat with her boyfriend. They were about to break up. FML

#74742
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11618) - you deserved it (42683)

On 02/19/2009 at 12:22am - love - by baddormgirl (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, in my karate dojo, I was being taught how to fall properly. My sensei instructed us not to fall with our hands out because it could sprain our wrists. As I was getting ready to help demonstrate a backwards break fall, I actually fell over. Guess where my hands went. FML

#18334066
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11617) - you deserved it (18069)

On 11/24/2011 at 2:58am - health - by xJade2012x - United States

Today, I woke up in a daze after a long night drinking. I felt a subtle nudge on my shoulder. I was at my ex-girlfriends house, passed out on top of her, with no pants on. Her dad was, in so many words, informing me that I had to leave immediately. FML

#3718923
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11615) - you deserved it (54143)

On 07/13/2009 at 3:06pm - love - by Matt (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I learned it's best not to piss off your mom when she's cutting your hair. FML

#17275625
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11609) - you deserved it (38652)

On 07/27/2011 at 12:50am - misc - by :( - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went in for an interview at my dream job. When I walked in, I got a dirty look from the front desk secretary. Turns out, the guy interviewing me was from a dating website I'm on. I'd rejected him and told him to get a life. FML

#6791781
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11607) - you deserved it (30853)

On 12/17/2009 at 10:46am - work - by Interview tragedy - United States (Texas)

Today, it was my little girl's birthday and her grandparents came over to celebrate. One of the presents from her grandparents turned out to be a sweater. She then asked, "Mommy, may I please lie?" When I shook my head no, she exclaimed, "I hate this ugly sweater!" FML

#13612697
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11605) - you deserved it (31326)

On 10/27/2010 at 7:47am - kids - by Lisaaa - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to my high school reunion. I was super excited to see what everyone had done in their lives. The nerdy guy I bullied is now a U.S. Marine and already has two deployments in Afghanistan under his belt. He looked at me in his dress blues and said, "I remember you." FML

#16519347
467 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11603) - you deserved it (117892)

On 06/05/2011 at 8:52pm - misc - by kringr (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went over to my boyfriends house with a few people. I drank too much wine and later when everyone else left I gave him head, deepthroating a little too enthusiastically, and puked all over his cock and bedsheets. Turns out, washing vomit out of your pubes kills the mood somewhat. FML

#2881257
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11600) - you deserved it (55976)

On 06/14/2009 at 9:08am - intimacy - by ohdeardarling (woman) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, I finished making an awesome costume for a Halloween party my crush was attending. I then checked the invite and found out the party was last night. FML

#6073802
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11599) - you deserved it (29059)

On 10/30/2009 at 7:29pm - misc - by Missedtheboat (man) - United States (California)



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