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Today, I injured my knee and dislocated my shoulder fighting over a cookie with my brother. He's 14. I'm 26. He still got the cookie. FML

#12818513
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11002) - you deserved it (32963)

On 08/30/2010 at 6:34am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Oman (Masqat)

Today, I was woken up by my own fart. FML

#7698820
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11002) - you deserved it (32038)

On 01/30/2010 at 3:47am - misc - by Wowsers. (woman) - United Kingdom (Blackpool)

Today, I saw a girl texting at school. I told her she might want to put her phone away before she got a detention. She turned around and I saw she was changing her insulin level on her pump. She has diabetes. FML

#112568
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10997) - you deserved it (51143)

On 02/23/2009 at 9:41am - health - by kcd (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I found out that shutting off the heat in the rental property my parents owned was a bad idea. The water froze and the pipes burst, causing the whole kitchen ceiling to fall down. The water ruined the wood floors and the appliances. I turned off the heat to save money. FML

#7146444
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10996) - you deserved it (32661)

On 01/04/2010 at 2:20pm - money - by WorkSexMonkey (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I saw two cute girls walking my way as I was parking my car. Trying to impress them, I got out and attempted to coolly walk to the sidewalk. I tripped on the curb, scraped both my knees, and was laughed at all the way until I got back inside my car. FML

#12724664
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10994) - you deserved it (31390)

On 08/24/2010 at 6:36pm - love - by iammike (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, we were having a family get together at my house. Because of this, i had to mow our lawn to make sure it looked nice. I got a little bored and decided it would be funny to cut a rather large penis into my yard. right when i finished, i ran out of gas. My 83 year old grandmother saw. FML

#1347593
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10993) - you deserved it (76517)

On 04/26/2009 at 4:12am - misc - by waltzy777 - United States (Indiana)

Today, I flirted with a guy for ten minutes before realizing I was sitting between him and his girlfriend. FML

#14881953
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10993) - you deserved it (38609)

On 02/07/2011 at 12:41pm - love - by Lindsay (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, after waking up from a drunken night, I realized the burning sensation I had from the lube during sex was because I used hand sanitizer. FML

#20125076
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10992) - you deserved it (35140)

On 10/20/2012 at 9:57am - intimacy - by MIND BLOWING - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at a party, my three friends and I thought it would be fun to urinate in a jug. We dislike the neighbours, so decided to throw the contents of the jug over the fence into their garden. It hit a tree and splashed back. I ended up covered in our piss. FML

#2592984
380 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10984) - you deserved it (170031)

On 06/04/2009 at 6:38am - misc - by Unluggee (woman) - United Kingdom (Liverpool)

Today, I went to the grocery store where my husband works. I wanted to surprise him, so I went up behind him and started kissing his neck. He seemed to love it, and so did I, until I noticed it wasn't my husband. FML

#14023578
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10982) - you deserved it (41869)

On 11/29/2010 at 1:26pm - love - by vhtdgjj - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I spilled some milk on my laptop. I was pretty sure it would be fine as it was only a bit of milk. While cleaning the residue, I knocked a whole bucket of water into the insides of the laptop. RIP Macbook. FML

#8120945
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10979) - you deserved it (30575)

On 02/11/2010 at 2:32am - misc - by NC (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, at work, I brewed myself a fresh cup of coffee. I set the hot coffee onto my desk. My phone rang so I answered my coffee, spilling it all over my face and body. FML

#6902851
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10977) - you deserved it (24378)

On 12/23/2009 at 1:42pm - work - by chris (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I chipped my tooth on a beer bottle. While I was drinking alone in my basement. FML

#6837157
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10974) - you deserved it (25146)

On 12/19/2009 at 10:30pm - misc - by Stella (woman) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)



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