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Thursday 5 May 2016

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Today, I spent six hours making chicken and black bean chili for a big family gathering. I go to use the restroom. I come back to the pot on the floor with my cat standing in the chili, eating it. FML

by ChaosFerret / 05/03/2016 at 4:53pm / United States (Oregon) / Animals

Today, I returned from a week long vacation in Aruba. After 10 hours of travel and 3 flights, I was walking to my car at the airport, excited to finally get home, only to realize I left my car keys, apartment keys, and work keys at the resort. FML

by kaleemuller / 05/03/2016 at 11:50am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my boyfriend and I went to visit his grandparents. Everything went well, until his grandmother approached me and asked me if I wanted to try some of her old bras. I didn't want to be rude, so I went with her. Most awkward moment of my life. FML

by Sara / 05/03/2016 at 12:52pm / Netherlands / Miscellaneous

Today, I met with my boss hoping to hear about a possible raise that had been promised many months ago. He then told me that the only way I would get a raise was if I found a better paying job and took it, and that the company was in no position to offer anyone a raise. FML

by AverageDeskJoe / 05/03/2016 at 4:43pm / United States (Louisiana) / Work

Today, I found out my 35 year-old brother got divorced 18 months ago when my now ex-sister-in-law told me via Facebook messenger, and asked me to tell my parents, as both of them were too scared to do it themselves. FML

by Clauric / 05/03/2016 at 11:15am / Love

Today, I finally realized I've spent the last 6 years building a business I hate. FML

by newbornphotog / 05/03/2016 at 9:20am / Germany (Bayern) / Work

Today, after a 14-mile bike tour in Chicago, I got rug burn on my inner thighs. Having the hostel room all by myself for the last couple of days, I got naked and let the air conditioner cool me off. I then had to explain to my roommate that walked in on me that I seriously was not jerking off. FML

by ImilkedYourMom / 05/03/2016 at 9:31am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that my daughter not only has a boyfriend, but that they're trying for a baby. She's barely 15. FML

by Anonymous / 05/04/2016 at 10:15am / United Kingdom (Cornwall) / Kids

Today, my family savagely mocked me to the point of tears, all for using "big", "fancy" words like "accommodations" and "hospitality". FML

by probablyadopted1 / 05/04/2016 at 12:39pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I tried to charge my phone at school by removing the socket for the fan. All the computers in the room turned off. I accidentally removed the power cables for the computers and got suspended. FML

by JoshWontonDo / 05/03/2016 at 11:06am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Work