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Friday 12 February 2016

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I greeted my boss with, "Looking good, did you lose weight?" He responded that no, he'd just purchased larger pants. FML

#21525094
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11337) - you deserved it (2043)

On 02/11/2016 at 7:24am - work - by candy (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that people are notified when you list them on Twitter. I've been listing people as "Interesting" and "Stupid". FML

#21524626
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7533) - you deserved it (15886)

On 02/09/2016 at 11:08pm - misc - by Shiet - Singapore

Today, I asked my husband if he could at least try to give me an orgasm. His response? "Um... why?" FML

#21525139
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7961) - you deserved it (782)

On 02/11/2016 at 12:06pm - intimacy - by not satisfied - United States (Missouri)

Today, I found out my insurance company denied my claim because they had me marked down as "male" and yet also pregnant. I now have to prove to them that I'm actually a woman. FML

#21525162
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7572) - you deserved it (452)

On 02/11/2016 at 1:12pm - health - by notaman (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I came inside a girl's vagina by accident. Neither one of us wants her to be pregnant, and I had to spend half an hour with her sitting on my face, while I sucked my own cum out of her. I don't even know if this will work. FML

#21524955
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5972) - you deserved it (31380)

On 02/10/2016 at 9:12pm - intimacy - by nickncik (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my sister punched me in the face. My dad was actually annoyed with me when I told him. He said I'll never be a "real man" if I can't take a hit from a girl. FML

#21525128
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6542) - you deserved it (988)

On 02/11/2016 at 10:44am - misc - by J (man) - Malta



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

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