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Saturday 22 October 2016

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Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say it when I caught him sleeping with my best friend. FML

by kpjc / 10/20/2016 at 8:29pm / United States (Kansas) / Love

Today, I had to call a customer. I usually try to avoid calling customers because I have a very prominent speech impediment. Well, it turns out the customer I called also has a speech impediment and thought I was mocking her. She hung up on me and filed a formal complaint with my company. FML

by Jen / 10/20/2016 at 12:32pm / Work

Today, I called in about a job application I put in over a week ago. Apparently, the branch of the company that I applied to was never given my information, and the position was filled days ago. I've been checking the status of the position online daily, and it still says that it's open. FML

by PhantomKitty / 10/20/2016 at 11:07pm / United States (West Virginia) / Work

Today, I got mugged. For my Big Mac. What the fuck? FML

by macguy / 10/20/2016 at 10:25am / Philippines (Quezon City) / Miscellaneous

Today, as usual, I got to my internship early, did everything my bosses asked. At the end of the day, I was fired after 3 weeks of working unpaid overtime because they found an applicant with more experience for the job I applied to and they wanted to cut costs. FML

by Anonymous / 10/20/2016 at 1:59pm / Singapore / Work

Today, my boyfriend dumped me by getting his mum to message me on Facebook. I got the message while I was packing for an overseas trip to visit him. FML

by Anonymous / 10/20/2016 at 7:12am / Australia (Tasmania) / Love

Today, my math teacher explained his concern for how "clipboard" should be pronounced similar to "cupboard." I thought he was crazy. I then later found myself saying it the new way to my mother. FML

by Confused Clipboard / 10/19/2016 at 10:41am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to find my face covered in scratches, some of them bleeding. I was rather puzzled, as I don't have a cat. Then I realised that the feathers in my pillow had stuck out and scratched my face. I was attacked by my own pillow. FML

by Anonymous / 10/20/2016 at 9:17am / United Kingdom (Kent) / Health

Today, at the register, I got a spontaneous nose bleed. The lady behind the counter apparently didn't do well with blood. Her face turned white, she passed out and fell with her head on the counter. FML

by Kay / 10/20/2016 at 6:37am / Work