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Sunday 1 March 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, after 3 years of studying to be a veterinarian, I found out I may not be able to continue. It's not because I'm failing my classes, but because my body has developed an allergy to cats. FML

#21363251
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29503) - you deserved it (2288)

On 02/25/2015 at 10:44am - animals - by cat-astrophic (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I got laid off. I abandoned my friends, my boyfriend and moved 10 hours away for this job because my uncle convinced me to. My uncle is my employer. FML

#21361965
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28863) - you deserved it (4149)

On 02/23/2015 at 6:52pm - work - by now what - Canada

Today, I won a pool game against some guy. His friends started mocking him for getting his ass whooped by a pregnant girl who couldn't even lean over the table. He got mad, swung his pool stick at them, missed, and hit me right in the face. FML

#21364532
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28685) - you deserved it (2001)

On 02/27/2015 at 10:29am - misc - by MCForty (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I ordered Chinese and told them I was allergic to eggs. I took a bite and I found some egg, quickly spat it out and took my antihistamines. When I returned with it and complained about my potential demise, they gave me a free orange to apologise. I'm allergic to oranges. FML

#21361977
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28437) - you deserved it (4870)

On 02/23/2015 at 7:08pm - health - by hatemebeforetheyevenhatch (woman) - United Kingdom (West Dunbartonshire)

Today, I found out my son likes to pee in the shower. He stated, "It's okay because dad pees in the sink!" I'm living with a bunch of bears. FML

#21363816
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28366) - you deserved it (4399)

On 02/26/2015 at 6:24am - kids - by showerlover (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boss called me, furious about how I "never answer my phone", especially when important clients are trying to reach me, and how unprofessional I am. I make very sure to never miss any calls, my boss just keeps giving out the wrong number to people. FML

#21362364
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28330) - you deserved it (1639)

On 02/24/2015 at 5:19am - work - by O (woman) - Sweden

Today, my boss used Siri to settle a debate we were having in our team meeting. Siri responded by calling him "Daddy". FML

Today, it was the day my catheter was to be removed. The nurse removing it deflated the balloon, and then tried pulling it out. After me screaming in extreme pain, she found out she hadn't actually deflated the balloon all the way. She was trying to pull a small balloon through my dick hole. FML

#21362632
111 comments

Today, my boyfriend and I broke up because we got into a fight over what color that confusing black and blue and white and gold dress was. FML

#21364239
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27678) - you deserved it (19120)

On 02/26/2015 at 10:07pm - love - by confused - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was feeling terrible so I called in sick to work. My boss refused to believe me and told me he'd fire me if I didn't come in. I dragged myself to work, only to spend most of the day glued to the toilet. Now he says I won't be paid for the day because I barely did any work. FML

#21364599
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27693) - you deserved it (1949)

On 02/27/2015 at 1:24pm - health - by Mark (man) - Malta

Today, it's been three days since I started working 12-hour night shifts. My neighbors have now decided to renovate their house. They're focusing on the rooms sharing my wall. FML

#21363273
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27250) - you deserved it (1921)

On 02/25/2015 at 11:53am - misc - by need sleep - United States (Maryland)

Today, my girlfriend and I were talking about times we'd made our mothers cry. She said she'd only made her mother cry once. When I asked when, she said, "When I told her I was thinking about dating you." FML

#21364495
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27161) - you deserved it (2583)

On 02/27/2015 at 9:13am - love - by shoggoth_wild - United States (Mississippi)

Today, my boyfriend managed to orgasm by humping my leg. I'm beginning to think I am dating a puppy. FML

#21363602
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27125) - you deserved it (3378)

On 02/25/2015 at 10:31pm - intimacy - by failuretolaunch2 - United States



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML
  • Madonna must be the only person breathing a sigh of relief right now thanks to all the idiots arguing about the colour of a dress. Thanks to a badly-lit photograph, everyone seems to have forgotten that she super…

Friday 27 February 2015

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