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Friday 17 January 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was told I looked like Beaker from the Muppets. After doing a side-by-side comparison, I realized it's true. FML

#21032010
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39077) - you deserved it (4333)

On 01/18/2014 at 6:09pm - misc - by cjgreer70 - United States (Oregon)

Today, I dropped my phone in the wet snow. I read that putting it in rice helps to get the water out. Three pieces of rice are now frozen into the power port, and I can't get the charger in. FML

#21034026
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39061) - you deserved it (12517)

On 01/20/2014 at 3:34pm - misc - by merrr - Canada

Today, I bought an automatic air refresher. I put the can and batteries in, and it promptly sprayed a blast of its scent down my throat. Now I can't breathe without tasting it. FML

#21032966
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39041) - you deserved it (9287)

On 01/19/2014 at 4:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, my grandma said, "I know you don't have any plans tonight. Do you want to go to bingo with me?" I said sure out of pity, and ended up being her designated driver after she got wasted later in the evening. FML

#21030815
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37536) - you deserved it (4770)

On 01/17/2014 at 12:35pm - misc - by my cheese grater + your dick (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, school was out because of snow. My dad walked in my room and shouted "Why are you home?!" I told him why, and he replied, "Then get out the damn house and play in the snow." He tossed me out in nothing but my shorts. FML

#21037332
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37488) - you deserved it (4702)

On 01/23/2014 at 4:49pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I ran into my apartment and let one rip, since I'd been holding it the whole elevator ride up. My parents had let themselves in while I was out, and laughed at me for a good 20 minutes. 5ML

#21038740
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37485) - you deserved it (6120)

On 01/24/2014 at 8:34pm - misc - by DJ (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to accept the fact that I'm going bald, after I noticed the hair on my chest is longer than the hair on my head. FML

#21037094
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36884) - you deserved it (3504)

On 01/23/2014 at 12:13pm - health - by Hairy_Potter (man) - Brazil (Sao Paulo)

Today, my sister had me kicked out of her wedding reception for, in the words of her new husband, "harshing the buzz." FML

#21028633
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36667) - you deserved it (5052)

On 01/15/2014 at 10:05am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I noticed my laptop kept shutting down and the mouse cursor was all over the place, clicking on every folder. I dismantled the entire computer only to notice something in one of my USB drives: the receiver to a wireless mouse my colleague put there earlier to play a prank on me. 5ML

#21037915
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36630) - you deserved it (7808)

On 01/24/2014 at 2:16am - work - by Kenny (man) - Nigeria (Lagos)

Today, I went to my first ever job interview. I thought I was doing well, until the recruiter asked why he should hire me. The only thing I could say was "Because I'm really, really nervous right now?" FML

Today, while I was fooling around with my girlfriend, she hurt her hand. It obviously wasn't very serious, so I told her to stop faking it. She responded, "Wanna know what I actually fake? My orgasms." FML

#21031998
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35046) - you deserved it (57094)

On 01/18/2014 at 5:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had to skip class to attend a truancy court hearing. FML

#21027645
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33768) - you deserved it (16764)

On 01/14/2014 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I found that I conduct so much static electricity that I'm periodically given a shock by my headphones as I walk with them on. 5ML

#21038657
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33119) - you deserved it (3976)

On 01/24/2014 at 7:34pm - misc - by PangolinScholar (man) - United States (Texas)



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  • It's the weekend so let's plaster on a fake smile and plough through this shit one more time. Sorry, I was channelling Bill Hicks there. I'll start again. Hi everyone, how are you doing? This week…

Friday 29 May 2015

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