Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Friday 17 January 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I visited my girlfriend at her place, one thing lead to another, and we had sex for the first time. Her normally very sweet cat now hisses and savages me if I so much as look at him. FML

#21034982
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38486) - you deserved it (6228)

On 01/21/2014 at 12:43pm - intimacy - by idiot says pussy (man) - United States

Today, I was watching Ratatouille. Piece of advice for starving students: never watch it when you've only eaten two apples in two days, or you'll find yourself in the ridiculous position of being jealous of a fucking rat. FML

#21033122
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38428) - you deserved it (7123)

On 01/19/2014 at 6:38pm - misc - by I.Want.Food. (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, someone thought it would be funny to steal the precious stuffed bear I've had since childhood and leave a ransom note in its place. FML

#21031005
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38395) - you deserved it (4958)

On 01/17/2014 at 5:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I decided to dye my hair blue. The result is slightly different than I expected: my white bathroom is now blue, and so are my skin and nails. The only thing that isn't blue is my hair, which is now green. FML

#21036650
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38267) - you deserved it (18289)

On 01/22/2014 at 10:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I had a big final project due for class. None of my project partners would help me yesterday, because they were convinced we'd have a snow day. Unfortunately, we didn't have a snow day, and we failed. FML

#21035327
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38190) - you deserved it (6420)

On 01/21/2014 at 6:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I signed up for a dating site and used a photo of my mother and me at a wedding. Everyone stops responding when they find out they're talking to me and not her. FML

#21030662
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37816) - you deserved it (7905)

On 01/17/2014 at 7:49am - misc - by dylanhollis - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that even after three years, my boyfriend's mother replies, "Unfortunately" when asked if we are still together. FML

#21034680
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37400) - you deserved it (3256)

On 01/21/2014 at 1:25am - love - by monsterinlaw - United States (Ohio)

Today, my new calculus teacher taught everything using nothing but soccer terms and analogies, just so the resident idiot meatheads would understand. I didn't learn a thing. FML

#21030844
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37306) - you deserved it (4387)

On 01/17/2014 at 1:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I dropped my phone in the wet snow. I read that putting it in rice helps to get the water out. Three pieces of rice are now frozen into the power port, and I can't get the charger in. FML

#21034026
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37211) - you deserved it (11546)

On 01/20/2014 at 3:34pm - misc - by merrr - Canada

Today, my girlfriend was spending the day at my place. Later on, I walked in while she was making lunch. She had a jar of mayo in her hand, and I joked, "I have some mayo, but it doesn't come from a jar." She had a bluetooth headset on, and was in a call with her father. 5ML

#21037484
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36990) - you deserved it (20309)

On 01/23/2014 at 7:10pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, my mom took a picture of me. All she could say about the picture was, "At least your sister is pretty." 5ML

#21038006
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36864) - you deserved it (3076)

On 01/24/2014 at 7:36am - love - by MH - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, my mom made me go shopping with her. It was freezing out, but she didn't wear a coat, boasting that she doesn't feel the chill like I do. By the time we drove home she was whining about freezing to death, and now I'm stuck in a house whose heating is set to "inferno". FML

#21035197
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36689) - you deserved it (3422)

On 01/21/2014 at 4:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Iceland

Today, my grandma said, "I know you don't have any plans tonight. Do you want to go to bingo with me?" I said sure out of pity, and ended up being her designated driver after she got wasted later in the evening. FML

#21030815
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36548) - you deserved it (4650)

On 01/17/2014 at 12:35pm - misc - by my cheese grater + your dick (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: