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Friday 17 January 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, it was my first day at my new school. I've never been the new girl before, so I asked my best friend for advice. She said, "Whatever you do, do not, under any circumstances, be yourself." FML

#21029148
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41805) - you deserved it (4762)

On 01/15/2014 at 8:57pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I realized that if you are dreaming that you have diarrhea, you probably have diarrhea. FML

#21030771
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41792) - you deserved it (3840)

On 01/17/2014 at 11:24am - health - by crap - United States (Ohio)

Today, my brother asked me how to block someone on Facebook. Seeing as how my brother never asks me for anything, I took this opportunity to help him. He then blocked me. FML

#21034070
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41574) - you deserved it (6933)

On 01/20/2014 at 4:16pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, after trying for several days to change some details on the social security website, I got fed up and called them. I waited nearly two hours on hold, and when I finally got through, the guy on the other end just told me to reboot my computer and try again, then hung up on me. FML

#21027789
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41521) - you deserved it (3894)

On 01/14/2014 at 4:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my dad asked me to lend him some money to buy his medication, since he's all but broke right now. He returned with nothing but a bottle of tequila. FML

#21027843
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41329) - you deserved it (6999)

On 01/14/2014 at 5:06pm - money - by chiktikka (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend was playing with my hair, when his hand got caught. He ended up ripping out a handful of hair trying to get it free. FML

#21028790
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41287) - you deserved it (5474)

On 01/15/2014 at 2:22pm - misc - by coop42 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my brother asked me if I wanted to see a magic trick. I stupidly said yes and now have a black eye from where he punched me. My dad thinks it's hilarious and my mum says he didn't know any better. He's 13. FML

#21035253
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41069) - you deserved it (4993)

On 01/21/2014 at 5:27pm - health - by cuntocracy (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I came home from the army and explained to my family how tough it was there. Then, as I was walking away, I stubbed my toe on the couch, fell and cried. FML

#21036979
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40933) - you deserved it (13762)

On 01/23/2014 at 7:53am - misc - by MarBlu - United States

Today, I'm a 34 year old male who just got given the sex talk on my Facebook timeline by my senile mother. 5ML

#21038727
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40866) - you deserved it (3783)

On 01/24/2014 at 8:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my 2-year-old son put his hand on my face, gave me a sweet kiss, and put his cheek against mine. Then he slapped me hard enough to leave a mark, laughed, and scrambled away. FML

#21032373
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40813) - you deserved it (5607)

On 01/19/2014 at 12:17am - kids - by MommyProblems (woman) - United States

Today, my mom asked me when I'm going to propose to my girlfriend. Not only was she in the room at the time, I've spent the whole week thinking of ways to break up with her without ending up in the hospital. 5ML

#21038079
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40749) - you deserved it (4176)

On 01/24/2014 at 10:11am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, after a big argument, my girlfriend looked me dead in the eyes and said "I can go the rest of my life without sex, you know." 5ML

#21038360
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40597) - you deserved it (9245)

On 01/24/2014 at 3:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today, at work, a kid rushed into the bathroom to vomit. Understandable, except he threw up into the sinks. Sinks plural, whose drain holes are so small that only liquid can really pass through. Guess who had to clean up vomit chunks. FML

#21031848
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40337) - you deserved it (2909)

On 01/18/2014 at 2:49pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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