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Monday 28 October 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I had to take my 15-year-old son to the hospital. He'd gone out dressed as some My Little Pony character and encountered someone who'd had the same idea. They then got into a fistfight, and my son got the shit beaten out of him. I wish I'd never bred. FML

#20940283
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45544) - you deserved it (9434)

On 10/31/2013 at 2:27pm - kids - by anna (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I was wearing a letterman jacket that had my school name and "Okinawa Japan" on the back. A high school kid walks up to me and says, "I can't forgive you people for bombing Pearl Harbor." I'm black. FML

#20938215
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45442) - you deserved it (3984)

On 10/29/2013 at 6:31pm - misc - by The_FN_Gunny - United States (Tennessee)

Today, while working customer service, I instructed a customer to press the pound key on her cellphone. She hesitated a moment before asking, "Um, the pound key? You mean the hashtag, right?" FML

#20941322
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44829) - you deserved it (4158)

On 11/01/2013 at 12:49pm - work - by #isthisthepoundkey? - United States (Florida)

Today, I told the man my girlfriend has been cheating on me with all about her infidelity. He didn't get angry; he just said that he knew, that they were in an open relationship, and that I was pretty stupid to have not figured it out sooner. FML

#20941848
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44620) - you deserved it (6045)

On 11/01/2013 at 9:20pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, I put a picture of my cat on Facebook. A stranger sent me a message saying how "attractive" she was and that her eyes are "very seductive". So, basically, someone is trying to hit on my cat. FML

#20938804
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43493) - you deserved it (4775)

On 10/30/2013 at 3:03am - animals - by meow (woman) - United States

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend, feeling pretty low. I said something along the lines of "You like me even when I look like shit." He replied, "Ah, that's just how you naturally look." FML

#20942129
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43484) - you deserved it (7052)

On 11/02/2013 at 1:06am - love - by lucy_g (woman) - United States

Today, a hornet thought it would be fun to fly into a candle that I had lit. As the hornet burned to death, it flung its charred body at my face, which is more painful than it sounds. FML

#20936891
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42690) - you deserved it (3345)

On 10/28/2013 at 4:18pm - misc - by Asshole hornet - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, like every other day, my daughter thinks that degrading skinny people is very "non-conformist" and "edgy". This time, though, a slightly slim girl punched her in the face when she accused her of being anorexic. Now people think I gave my daughter her new black eye. FML

#20942627
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42516) - you deserved it (6688)

On 11/02/2013 at 2:46pm - kids - by curvster daughter (man) - United States

Today, I came home to find my 14-year-old son attempting to get drunk off aftershave. FML

#20944161
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42378) - you deserved it (4634)

On 11/03/2013 at 5:27pm - kids - by don'tdrinkthat - United States (Illinois)

Today, an old man looked me dead in the eyes as he reached into my tip jar, grabbed the money, and then walked out of the store as if nothing ever happened. I was so shocked that I couldn't do anything to stop him. FML

#20941188
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41141) - you deserved it (10304)

On 11/01/2013 at 8:58am - money - by brokeasajoke - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my mother was talking about a holiday she went on this time last year. She turned to me to say, "You would've loved it, it's a shame you couldn't come". I was there. It was just the two of us on holiday together. FML

#20938197
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41114) - you deserved it (2662)

On 10/29/2013 at 6:09pm - misc - by Liv (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I overcame my stage fright and got up in front of a café audience with my acoustic guitar to sing a few of my songs. Some asshat kept yelling stuff like "NEEDS MORE COWBELL!" and "FREEBIRD!", which made me lose my nerve and flee. FML

#20937310
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40942) - you deserved it (4382)

On 10/28/2013 at 9:57pm - misc - by NickDrakeFan (man) - United States

Today, my professor tried to scare the hiccups out of me. Some pee came out instead. FML

#20937069
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40914) - you deserved it (4105)

On 10/28/2013 at 6:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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