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Monday 28 October 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I had to take my 15-year-old son to the hospital. He'd gone out dressed as some My Little Pony character and encountered someone who'd had the same idea. They then got into a fistfight, and my son got the shit beaten out of him. I wish I'd never bred. FML

#20940283
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43101) - you deserved it (8995)

On 10/31/2013 at 2:27pm - kids - by anna (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I told the man my girlfriend has been cheating on me with all about her infidelity. He didn't get angry; he just said that he knew, that they were in an open relationship, and that I was pretty stupid to have not figured it out sooner. FML

#20941848
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43078) - you deserved it (5913)

On 11/01/2013 at 9:20pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, I had a panic attack when a huge spider ran over my hand. I screamed, wailed, and killed it with a shoe while shouting. Ten minutes later, police slammed on my door. My neighbor called them, saying it sounded like someone was being murdered. FML

#20943397
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42696) - you deserved it (7654)

On 11/03/2013 at 2:34am - animals - by katchoo (woman) - Denmark

Today, during dinner, my mom told my dad and me in great detail about the "awesome" new cosmetic surgery idea she just had: constructing earlobes for lobeless ears, using skin taken from women's labia. I was forced to sit through this until I finished my plate. FML

#20941234
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41876) - you deserved it (3729)

On 11/01/2013 at 10:17am - intimacy - by Champignon (woman) - Belgium (Antwerpen)

Today, I came home to find my 14-year-old son attempting to get drunk off aftershave. FML

#20944161
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41447) - you deserved it (4541)

On 11/03/2013 at 5:27pm - kids - by don'tdrinkthat - United States (Illinois)

Today, I put a picture of my cat on Facebook. A stranger sent me a message saying how "attractive" she was and that her eyes are "very seductive". So, basically, someone is trying to hit on my cat. FML

#20938804
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40841) - you deserved it (4536)

On 10/30/2013 at 3:03am - animals - by meow (woman) - United States

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend, feeling pretty low. I said something along the lines of "You like me even when I look like shit." He replied, "Ah, that's just how you naturally look." FML

#20942129
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40381) - you deserved it (6619)

On 11/02/2013 at 1:06am - love - by lucy_g (woman) - United States

Today, a hornet thought it would be fun to fly into a candle that I had lit. As the hornet burned to death, it flung its charred body at my face, which is more painful than it sounds. FML

#20936891
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39820) - you deserved it (3103)

On 10/28/2013 at 4:18pm - misc - by Asshole hornet - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I overcame my stage fright and got up in front of a café audience with my acoustic guitar to sing a few of my songs. Some asshat kept yelling stuff like "NEEDS MORE COWBELL!" and "FREEBIRD!", which made me lose my nerve and flee. FML

#20937310
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39786) - you deserved it (4273)

On 10/28/2013 at 9:57pm - misc - by NickDrakeFan (man) - United States

Today, like every other day, my daughter thinks that degrading skinny people is very "non-conformist" and "edgy". This time, though, a slightly slim girl punched her in the face when she accused her of being anorexic. Now people think I gave my daughter her new black eye. FML

#20942627
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39752) - you deserved it (6290)

On 11/02/2013 at 2:46pm - kids - by curvster daughter (man) - United States

Today, my grandma has been running around the neighborhood, dressed as Bobo the Evil Clown, chasing trick-or-treaters. All I've been able to do is chase after her, and apologize to the terrified children's families. FML

#20941017
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39531) - you deserved it (3503)

On 11/01/2013 at 2:04am - misc - by bobosgonnagetyou - United States (Oregon)

Today, I had the pleasure of driving in central London for the first time, to recover my drunk husband from his own brilliance, puking on the feet of Winston Churchill's statue in Parliament Square. At 4 am. FML

#20944193
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38925) - you deserved it (3421)

On 11/03/2013 at 5:53pm - love - by I am not amused! (woman) - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, my professor tried to scare the hiccups out of me. Some pee came out instead. FML

#20937069
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38604) - you deserved it (3870)

On 10/28/2013 at 6:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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