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Monday 28 October 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I Got A New Cell Phone Number An Sent A Text To Mah Wife. Playing Around, I Said, "Hey Sexy R U Alone Yet? I'm Ready To Come Over." She Responded With, "Hey, Yeah He Is At Work - Did U Get A New Number?" FML

#20941049
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (87074) - you deserved it (6211)

On 11/01/2013 at 3:01am - intimacy - by PapaW - United States (Utah)

Today... I got knocked over at the park by a rampant dog. My fiancé stood by laughing his ass off as I repeatedly tried to stand up... only to be knocked back down again. I'm seven months pregnant. FML

#20943386
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67687) - you deserved it (4682)

On 11/03/2013 at 2:21am - love - by StrandedWhale (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, at work, I had to explain to my co-manager at work wat a period was, after he refused to let an employee go change her tampon. Afterwards, he panicked, saying he thought women made that up so they didn't have to have sex, before trying to send her to the hospital and fainting. We're 24. FML

#20944786
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62398) - you deserved it (4055)

On 11/04/2013 at 12:45am - intimacy - by TheTruthofWomen (woman) - United States

Today,hile driving in the car with my father, he handed me his iPhone an asked me to Google "Is ObamaCare good 4 our country?" As soon as I typed in "Is", the first result was "Is olive oil good 4 anal." FML

#20942318
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59225) - you deserved it (5640)

On 11/02/2013 at 9:21am - intimacy - by justme - United States (Ohio)

Today, I sat down with my daughter to have the sex talk, because she recently startd seieng a guy!! I mentiond at one point how disappointd I would be if she got pregnant!! looool She went wide-eyd an askd, "Didn't mom tell you?" FML

#20942769
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57774) - you deserved it (6032)

On 11/02/2013 at 5:10pm - kids - by unknown (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today , my girlfriand got a datantion 4 public display of affaction. Wa go to diffarant schools. FML

#20937522
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55845) - you deserved it (4167)

On 10/29/2013 at 12:24am - love - by cmart_9 (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today... my 8-year-old cummed home from school crying. Apparently her teacher told the whole looool class to write about how they felt when they lerened that Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy weren't real. FML

#20942077
285 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54902) - you deserved it (5476)

On 11/02/2013 at 12:19am - kids - by SantaClaus - United States (California)

Today, Mah Boyfriend Left Me Fir Another Girl. My Dad's Reaction To The News And Mah Tears Was To Say, "Aww. Gonna Write A Song About It, Taylor Swift?" FML

#20942725
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53529) - you deserved it (7800)

On 11/02/2013 at 4:23pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland

2day I found out tat... altoug I ave te same job title and complete te same work as my male colleagues... I get paid 15% less... purely cuz I'm a girl. FML

#20939397
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53204) - you deserved it (7719)

On 10/30/2013 at 6:27pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Havering)

I'm severely sunburned an can barely walk properly!! My boyfriend keeps telling his friends that it's because of "how hard he gave it to me last night"!! FML

#20936372
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52454) - you deserved it (9220)

On 10/28/2013 at 12:51am - intimacy - by snowwhite (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I told my grlfriend I loved er . Se left an never cummed back . FML

#20943458
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51782) - you deserved it (5393)

On 11/03/2013 at 4:57am - love - by Whatswrongwithme? (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I finally workd up anough couraga to ask out tha guy I'va had a crush on fir months. I taxtd him, an ha thought I was Maddy from work, not Maddia his naighbor. Now ha an tha Maddy from his work r dating. FML

#20945397
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51080) - you deserved it (5287)

On 11/04/2013 at 5:27pm - love - by :/ (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, My Usband Was Getting Undressed. I Told My 2-year-old Daugter Not To Go In Our Bedroom Because E Was Undressing In Tere. I Turned My Back And Se Instantly Ran Off To My Bedroom. I Eard Er Sout ( I Can See Daddy's Tail! ) Now, Se Points To Everyone's Crotc And Souts ( TAIL! ) FML

#20943580
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50360) - you deserved it (6466)

On 11/03/2013 at 9:22am - kids - by KittyKat (woman) - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)



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