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Monday 21 October 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, we found out that my unborn sibling is a girl, and my parents quickly named her. In a few years' time, "Candida" is going to catch all kinds of shit at school, just like I do for being named Dorothy. My "friends" have already started calling me "lil' yeast infection's sis". FML

#20935789
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35121) - you deserved it (2733)

On 10/27/2013 at 3:52pm - misc - by Dor51 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went to a haunted house with the girl I like, thinking that she would get scared and turn to me for comfort. I ended up running out, and was put on the Wall of Shame. FML

#20933080
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34660) - you deserved it (18708)

On 10/25/2013 at 12:35am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I tried Ambien for the first time. I now have to apologize to most of my exes for excessively rambling emails about getting together for some naked Twister. FML

#20929399
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33356) - you deserved it (11248)

On 10/21/2013 at 8:12pm - health - by OutOfMyMind (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I noticed that my sweat smelled like cat food. FML

#20928538
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33276) - you deserved it (6589)

On 10/21/2013 at 2:53am - health - by anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I had to listen to my boss say "Arabica beans" in a goofy, fake New England accent every time the McDonald's ice coffee commercial came on the radio. I worked a 12-hour shift. FML

#20937230
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33041) - you deserved it (3031)

On 10/28/2013 at 8:53pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I went to the kitchen to grab some cereal. I guess my mum didn't hear me, because as I entered, I heard her ranting to herself about her "God damned fucking cheerios". I started to slowly back out, but I tripped over my own feet. She heard and yelled at me for "sneaking around". FML

#20934627
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32463) - you deserved it (3813)

On 10/26/2013 at 2:40pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Aberdeen City)

Today, my girlfriend asked me if I could love anything more than her, and if so, what. I guess "bacon" was the wrong answer. FML

#20936378
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27862) - you deserved it (41262)

On 10/28/2013 at 12:58am - love - by BaconLover - Japan

Today, I decided to try LSD with a few friends in a safe environment. As an artist, I had planned to spend my trip doing psychedelic paintings and had all my supplies set up. Apparently I spent most of my time in fetal position muttering about the "evil easel" and never even touched my canvas. FML

#20930479
330 comments


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