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Monday 21 October 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, during parent/teacher conferences, my mom told my Chemistry teacher that I have an intense crush on him. There are still 7 months left in the school year. FML

#20930913
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49955) - you deserved it (5114)

On 10/23/2013 at 10:04am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, the tickets I bought for my favorite band's concert arrived in the mail. The concert was last night. FML

#20935170
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49444) - you deserved it (4453)

On 10/27/2013 at 12:11am - misc - by MsConfusedd (woman) - United States

Today, I failed hard at a color test. I thought it was a joke because most of the colors looked the same to me. Now I know why people laugh at my clothes color choices. FML

#20936339
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48815) - you deserved it (3444)

On 10/28/2013 at 12:51am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my fiancée of 2 years and mother of my son, who is also pregnant with our second son, commented on how lucky two friends getting married were to have found each other. I said that we're just as lucky. She responded, "No. They actually love each other." FML

#20936067
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48779) - you deserved it (4449)

On 10/27/2013 at 8:41pm - love - by failure (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I heard crashing noises coming from my dining room. I got up to see what it was; my asshat cat was flinging himself at my chandelier. He'd figured out how to grab the ceiling fan from the other room, build momentum, and launch into my expensive chandelier. Hooray. FML

#20929956
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48741) - you deserved it (5156)

On 10/22/2013 at 5:12am - animals - by IamAflyingCat - United States

Today, I witnessed my boyfriend taking a dump in the litter box. He said he wanted to know what it felt like for the cat. FML

#20930986
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47903) - you deserved it (5669)

On 10/23/2013 at 12:04pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I finally got my driver's permit. To celebrate, my parents decided to go to a bar and make me wait in the car because I'm now the designated driver. FML

#20928623
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47629) - you deserved it (4622)

On 10/21/2013 at 6:57am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend told me how jealous he gets when I "hang out" with Dylan. Dylan is the 5-year-old boy whom I babysit every day. My boyfriend wants me to stop, because apparently Dylan cockblocks him. FML

#20933884
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47464) - you deserved it (5194)

On 10/25/2013 at 8:49pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was leaving the grocery store when an old woman started yelling at me for not holding the door open for her. She accused me of being "everything wrong with the younger generation". It was an automatic door. FML

#20937007
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47434) - you deserved it (3166)

On 10/28/2013 at 5:53pm - misc - by Greg (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got into a fight with my mother. Her idea of a birthday present to me is buying me a husband. Yes, buying. She told an asshat she found online about my trust fund, and now they're both trying to put together "the wedding of the millennium". She still doesn't understand why I'm mad. FML

Today, my wife ate nothing all day due to her morning sickness, but I tried to get her to eat something light, for our baby's sake. I brought her a banana. She yelled at me for being a "pervert" and accused me of just wanting to watch her stick a phallic object in her mouth. FML

#20935582
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47234) - you deserved it (5274)

On 10/27/2013 at 12:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my now ex-boyfriend actually claimed that his cheating didn't count because A) the other girl is his lab partner, and B) she's overweight. FML

#20933703
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46895) - you deserved it (3665)

On 10/25/2013 at 5:39pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found out that my girlfriend has been sleeping around. After telling my best friend, I also found out that he and a few others have known for the past month. He asked, shocked, "Dude, I thought you knew?" FML

#20933837
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46736) - you deserved it (3802)

On 10/25/2013 at 7:55pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States



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