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Wednesday 4 September 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I went to college, where I'm studying for my dream job. Despite getting up at 5am to catch the earliest bus into town, I arrived ten minutes late. My professor knows my circumstances, but is still threatening to kick me off the course if I don't "arrive on time like everyone else." FML

#20869057
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40828) - you deserved it (7621)

On 09/05/2013 at 4:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I saw my dad pick his teeth with a toothpick from a new box. He ate the food he got out of his teeth and put the toothpick back. FML

#20869975
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40683) - you deserved it (2679)

On 09/06/2013 at 7:55am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, while at the zoo, I found out that the rhinos there can pee backwards, while standing directly behind one. FML

#20874616
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40648) - you deserved it (4321)

On 09/09/2013 at 4:51pm - animals - by Are you kidding me? - United States (Kansas)

Today, my friend asked if she could come over to my place. Since it's my birthday tomorrow, I said sure. Turns out she just wants to copy all my notes for our upcoming exam. FML

#20871829
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40577) - you deserved it (3605)

On 09/07/2013 at 6:22pm - kids - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, in order to try and get over my slight fear of swans, I went down to the local park to feed them. One decided that I looked tastier than the bread I was throwing and chased me around the feeding area while everybody laughed. FML

#20875531
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40447) - you deserved it (5905)

On 09/10/2013 at 7:36am - animals - by Evil_Angel_90 (woman) - Australia

Today, I had to finally accept that I have an eating disorder when I caught myself checking for the nutrition facts and calories on my shampoo. FML

#20864106
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40373) - you deserved it (8021)

On 09/02/2013 at 2:47am - health - by Jasmine_smilee - United States (Oregon)

Today, I locked my keys in my car. After looking for the spare key for hours, we called our insurance company, who then sent a "locksmith" with a wedge and a bar to open my car. All he did was break the driver and passenger doorhandles. My stuff is still inside. FML

#20864245
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39913) - you deserved it (3177)

On 09/02/2013 at 7:50am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to calm my hallucinating mom after she accidentally overdosed on one of her pills, then spend ages trying to protect her from the "monkey" on the wall. FML

#20866110
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39879) - you deserved it (2542)

On 09/03/2013 at 2:04pm - misc - by D - United States (California)

Today, my car broke down. My dad insisted he could fix it, but screwed up in the process. After finally getting the car towed to a mechanic, I was told that I'd only needed a new water pump, but thanks to the damage my dad did, fixing it all will cost me a small fortune. FML

#20870135
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39762) - you deserved it (3401)

On 09/06/2013 at 12:10pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I finally got up the courage to talk to my four-year boyfriend about how insecure I've been feeling in our relationship recently, and how I needed his support while I try to get my self-esteem back on-track. He fell asleep mid-conversation. FML

#20868475
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39504) - you deserved it (4974)

On 09/05/2013 at 2:47am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Warrington)

Today, I went to a suicide prevention walk with a girl I like. Before the walk, we bought balloons to set free when they called the names of the deceased. To buy a balloon, you had to write a name on a sheet. Apparently, you weren't supposed to write your own. They called my name. FML

#20874883
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39451) - you deserved it (12708)

On 09/09/2013 at 7:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my 17-year-old son hacked off the legs of his bed with a saw. His explanation? "The bed looks cooler closer to the floor." FML

#20870098
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39156) - you deserved it (4645) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 09/06/2013 at 7:56am - kids - by Anonyme - France (Basse-Normandie)

Today, I showed up at my brother's house for a visit. Little did I know, there was a family gathering. My bestfriend was invited and I wasn't. She's "more fun and less awkward" than I am. FML

#20864835
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38734) - you deserved it (3217)

On 09/02/2013 at 5:23pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)



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