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Wednesday 4 September 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I found out that my obese son, who is on a health-mandated diet and exercise plan, gorges on junk food whenever he has the chance. His logic? "It won't make you fatter if you crap it out." FML

#20863945
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40632) - you deserved it (6151)

On 09/02/2013 at 12:16am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my friend asked if she could come over to my place. Since it's my birthday tomorrow, I said sure. Turns out she just wants to copy all my notes for our upcoming exam. FML

#20871829
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40563) - you deserved it (3604)

On 09/07/2013 at 6:22pm - kids - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I couldn't sleep due to an awful head cold, so I stayed home from work. Apparently, the local high school marching band practices in the park across the street at 9am. They're doing the Imperial March music from Star Wars. They suck. FML

#20867437
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40452) - you deserved it (3154)

On 09/04/2013 at 12:24pm - misc - by lostinspace (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, in order to try and get over my slight fear of swans, I went down to the local park to feed them. One decided that I looked tastier than the bread I was throwing and chased me around the feeding area while everybody laughed. FML

#20875531
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40435) - you deserved it (5903)

On 09/10/2013 at 7:36am - animals - by Evil_Angel_90 (woman) - Australia

Today, I had to finally accept that I have an eating disorder when I caught myself checking for the nutrition facts and calories on my shampoo. FML

#20864106
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40353) - you deserved it (8018)

On 09/02/2013 at 2:47am - health - by Jasmine_smilee - United States (Oregon)

Today, I locked my keys in my car. After looking for the spare key for hours, we called our insurance company, who then sent a "locksmith" with a wedge and a bar to open my car. All he did was break the driver and passenger doorhandles. My stuff is still inside. FML

#20864245
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39893) - you deserved it (3177)

On 09/02/2013 at 7:50am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my car broke down. My dad insisted he could fix it, but screwed up in the process. After finally getting the car towed to a mechanic, I was told that I'd only needed a new water pump, but thanks to the damage my dad did, fixing it all will cost me a small fortune. FML

#20870135
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39736) - you deserved it (3400)

On 09/06/2013 at 12:10pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I went to a suicide prevention walk with a girl I like. Before the walk, we bought balloons to set free when they called the names of the deceased. To buy a balloon, you had to write a name on a sheet. Apparently, you weren't supposed to write your own. They called my name. FML

#20874883
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39433) - you deserved it (12703)

On 09/09/2013 at 7:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my 17-year-old son hacked off the legs of his bed with a saw. His explanation? "The bed looks cooler closer to the floor." FML

#20870098
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39141) - you deserved it (4644) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 09/06/2013 at 7:56am - kids - by Anonyme - France (Basse-Normandie)

Today, I finally got up the courage to talk to my four-year boyfriend about how insecure I've been feeling in our relationship recently, and how I needed his support while I try to get my self-esteem back on-track. He fell asleep mid-conversation. FML

#20868475
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38978) - you deserved it (4902)

On 09/05/2013 at 2:47am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Warrington)

Today, I showed up at my brother's house for a visit. Little did I know, there was a family gathering. My bestfriend was invited and I wasn't. She's "more fun and less awkward" than I am. FML

#20864835
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38725) - you deserved it (3216)

On 09/02/2013 at 5:23pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)

Today, while at the zoo, I found out that the rhinos there can pee backwards, while standing directly behind one. FML

#20874616
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38413) - you deserved it (4073)

On 09/09/2013 at 4:51pm - animals - by Are you kidding me? - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was asked to dumb myself down so the people I was training could comprehend what I was saying. FML

#20868484
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38026) - you deserved it (6613)

On 09/05/2013 at 2:57am - work - by Retarded (woman) - United States (Florida)



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