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Wednesday 4 September 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I discovered that my boyfriend, who has frequent night terrors, also sleepwalks. And apparently sleep-pisses on the bathroom rug. FML

#20872688
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42236) - you deserved it (3232)

On 09/08/2013 at 9:07am - love - by laundry day again... - United States

Today, I had a dream in which I was playing tennis. As I hit a powerful serve, I suddenly woke up due to having slapped myself in the face. FML

#20875790
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42084) - you deserved it (6171)

On 09/10/2013 at 2:44pm - misc - by Grand Slam (man) - Belgium (Vlaams-Brabant)

Today, I had to clean human excrement at work when the fitting room turned into the shitting room. FML

#20869873
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41968) - you deserved it (2522)

On 09/06/2013 at 3:01am - work - by lifesucks0925 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I noticed that my car's passenger-side door has cobwebs all over it. FML

#20876882
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41822) - you deserved it (6525)

On 09/11/2013 at 10:16am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I found out my kids only remember my birthday because it's the password on the iPad. FML

#20871062
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41763) - you deserved it (5197)

On 09/07/2013 at 4:22am - kids - by Sean - United States (California)

Today, I was at the doctor's getting a check up. He asked me if I was allergic to anything, to which I blurted out, "Cats." He gave me a weird look and said, "Don't worry, I won't give you cats." FML

#20865755
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40900) - you deserved it (6701)

On 09/03/2013 at 4:17am - health - by NoNotCats =^._.^= (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I realized that I have a rack and butt most girls would be jealous of. That wouldn't be bad if I wasn't a dude. FML

Today, I found out that my obese son, who is on a health-mandated diet and exercise plan, gorges on junk food whenever he has the chance. His logic? "It won't make you fatter if you crap it out." FML

#20863945
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40536) - you deserved it (6142)

On 09/02/2013 at 12:16am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I couldn't sleep due to an awful head cold, so I stayed home from work. Apparently, the local high school marching band practices in the park across the street at 9am. They're doing the Imperial March music from Star Wars. They suck. FML

#20867437
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40353) - you deserved it (3148)

On 09/04/2013 at 12:24pm - misc - by lostinspace (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had to finally accept that I have an eating disorder when I caught myself checking for the nutrition facts and calories on my shampoo. FML

#20864106
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40245) - you deserved it (8003)

On 09/02/2013 at 2:47am - health - by Jasmine_smilee - United States (Oregon)

Today, I saw my dad pick his teeth with a toothpick from a new box. He ate the food he got out of his teeth and put the toothpick back. FML

#20869975
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40033) - you deserved it (2630)

On 09/06/2013 at 7:55am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I went to college, where I'm studying for my dream job. Despite getting up at 5am to catch the earliest bus into town, I arrived ten minutes late. My professor knows my circumstances, but is still threatening to kick me off the course if I don't "arrive on time like everyone else." FML

#20869057
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39970) - you deserved it (7515)

On 09/05/2013 at 4:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had to bail my brother out of jail after he punched a convenience store clerk in the face for running out of Cheetos. FML

#20867149
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39927) - you deserved it (3416)

On 09/04/2013 at 3:00am - kids - by ven980 - United States (Oklahoma)



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