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Wednesday 4 September 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, after growing my hair out for over a year and constantly being told that it makes me look like a girl, I finally cut it. The first thing my friends said when they saw me was that I now look like a "lesbian." FML

#20874059
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44940) - you deserved it (5664)

On 09/09/2013 at 2:42am - misc - by jessel_ladd92 (man) - United States

Today, at my boyfriend's brother's house, I desperately needed to poop. After finishing my business, I realized the toilet wouldn't flush. I had to pull my poop out, wrap it in TP and make an excuse to go outside to throw it in a bush. The neighbor was watching. FML

#20874714
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44322) - you deserved it (12128)

On 09/09/2013 at 6:05pm - misc - by heyhijello - United States (California)

Today, I went to my insurance company to deal with some paperwork. One of their employees backed into my car before I made it into the building. FML

#20874631
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44242) - you deserved it (2894)

On 09/09/2013 at 5:04pm - money - by Sean - United States

Today, I had to clean human excrement at work when the fitting room turned into the shitting room. FML

#20869873
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44064) - you deserved it (2684)

On 09/06/2013 at 3:01am - work - by lifesucks0925 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I discovered that my boyfriend, who has frequent night terrors, also sleepwalks. And apparently sleep-pisses on the bathroom rug. FML

#20872688
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44036) - you deserved it (3406)

On 09/08/2013 at 9:07am - love - by laundry day again... - United States

Today, I found out that my obese son, who is on a health-mandated diet and exercise plan, gorges on junk food whenever he has the chance. His logic? "It won't make you fatter if you crap it out." FML

#20863945
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43837) - you deserved it (6603)

On 09/02/2013 at 12:16am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I had to finally accept that I have an eating disorder when I caught myself checking for the nutrition facts and calories on my shampoo. FML

#20864106
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43493) - you deserved it (8588)

On 09/02/2013 at 2:47am - health - by Jasmine_smilee - United States (Oregon)

Today, I took my driver's test. The woman administering it wouldn't even look at me, so trying to be friendly I said the first thing I could think of: "It must be scary getting in the car with someone you don't know!" She failed me for "excessive chatting." FML

#20867699
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43187) - you deserved it (4798)

On 09/04/2013 at 5:14pm - work - by UGGGH that was my 2nd attempt too (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I couldn't sleep due to an awful head cold, so I stayed home from work. Apparently, the local high school marching band practices in the park across the street at 9am. They're doing the Imperial March music from Star Wars. They suck. FML

#20867437
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43134) - you deserved it (3397)

On 09/04/2013 at 12:24pm - misc - by lostinspace (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had to bail my brother out of jail after he punched a convenience store clerk in the face for running out of Cheetos. FML

#20867149
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42939) - you deserved it (3656)

On 09/04/2013 at 3:00am - kids - by ven980 - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I locked my keys in my car. After looking for the spare key for hours, we called our insurance company, who then sent a "locksmith" with a wedge and a bar to open my car. All he did was break the driver and passenger doorhandles. My stuff is still inside. FML

#20864245
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42893) - you deserved it (3444)

On 09/02/2013 at 7:50am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was at the doctor's getting a check up. He asked me if I was allergic to anything, to which I blurted out, "Cats." He gave me a weird look and said, "Don't worry, I won't give you cats." FML

#20865755
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42820) - you deserved it (6920)

On 09/03/2013 at 4:17am - health - by NoNotCats =^._.^= (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I realized that I have a rack and butt most girls would be jealous of. That wouldn't be bad if I wasn't a dude. FML



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