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Wednesday 4 September 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I found out that my obese son, who is on a health-mandated diet and exercise plan, gorges on junk food whenever he has the chance. His logic? "It won't make you fatter if you crap it out." FML

#20863945
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38734) - you deserved it (5902)

On 09/02/2013 at 12:16am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I had to finally accept that I have an eating disorder when I caught myself checking for the nutrition facts and calories on my shampoo. FML

#20864106
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38726) - you deserved it (7722)

On 09/02/2013 at 2:47am - health - by Jasmine_smilee - United States (Oregon)

Today, I noticed that my car's passenger-side door has cobwebs all over it. FML

#20876882
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38649) - you deserved it (5841)

On 09/11/2013 at 10:16am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I found out my kids only remember my birthday because it's the password on the iPad. FML

#20871062
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38602) - you deserved it (4549)

On 09/07/2013 at 4:22am - kids - by Sean - United States (California)

Today, I locked my keys in my car. After looking for the spare key for hours, we called our insurance company, who then sent a "locksmith" with a wedge and a bar to open my car. All he did was break the driver and passenger doorhandles. My stuff is still inside. FML

#20864245
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38553) - you deserved it (3060)

On 09/02/2013 at 7:50am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, at my boyfriend's brother's house, I desperately needed to poop. After finishing my business, I realized the toilet wouldn't flush. I had to pull my poop out, wrap it in TP and make an excuse to go outside to throw it in a bush. The neighbor was watching. FML

#20874714
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38537) - you deserved it (10014)

On 09/09/2013 at 6:05pm - misc - by heyhijello - United States (California)

Today, I couldn't sleep due to an awful head cold, so I stayed home from work. Apparently, the local high school marching band practices in the park across the street at 9am. They're doing the Imperial March music from Star Wars. They suck. FML

#20867437
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38530) - you deserved it (2976)

On 09/04/2013 at 12:24pm - misc - by lostinspace (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had to clean human excrement at work when the fitting room turned into the shitting room. FML

#20869873
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38081) - you deserved it (2070)

On 09/06/2013 at 3:01am - work - by lifesucks0925 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I discovered that my boyfriend, who has frequent night terrors, also sleepwalks. And apparently sleep-pisses on the bathroom rug. FML

#20872688
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37992) - you deserved it (2654)

On 09/08/2013 at 9:07am - love - by laundry day again... - United States

Today, I took my driver's test. The woman administering it wouldn't even look at me, so trying to be friendly I said the first thing I could think of: "It must be scary getting in the car with someone you don't know!" She failed me for "excessive chatting." FML

#20867699
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37577) - you deserved it (4145)

On 09/04/2013 at 5:14pm - work - by UGGGH that was my 2nd attempt too (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had to bail my brother out of jail after he punched a convenience store clerk in the face for running out of Cheetos. FML

#20867149
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37478) - you deserved it (3181)

On 09/04/2013 at 3:00am - kids - by ven980 - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, in order to try and get over my slight fear of swans, I went down to the local park to feed them. One decided that I looked tastier than the bread I was throwing and chased me around the feeding area while everybody laughed. FML

#20875531
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37092) - you deserved it (5497)

On 09/10/2013 at 7:36am - animals - by Evil_Angel_90 (woman) - Australia

Today, my car broke down. My dad insisted he could fix it, but screwed up in the process. After finally getting the car towed to a mechanic, I was told that I'd only needed a new water pump, but thanks to the damage my dad did, fixing it all will cost me a small fortune. FML

#20870135
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36537) - you deserved it (3039)

On 09/06/2013 at 12:10pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)



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