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Wednesday 4 September 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boyfriend got offered a job at Abercrombie. The first thing he asked was "they only hire hot people, right?!" Now he won't stop telling me how lucky I am to be with such a hot guy. FML

Today, when my husband asked me what the password to my new computer is, I told him it was the month and year of our marriage. He couldn't figure out the password. FML

#20872459
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44224) - you deserved it (6491)

On 09/08/2013 at 1:42am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, my mom bumped into a table with a glass vase on it. Seeing that the vase was about to fall, I lunged to catch it. Before I got there, the vase fell and shattered, resulting in me diving into the broken shards. FML

#20874413
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44035) - you deserved it (5336)

On 09/09/2013 at 1:44pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was feeling abnormally self-confident, so I decided to skip putting on any makeup. The first thing my 7-year-old cousin said when she saw me was, "You look like my pet rat!" FML

#20864621
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43843) - you deserved it (4978)

On 09/02/2013 at 2:22pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out my grandfather died via Facebook, because apparently both my father and my aunt think posting a status about it immediately rather than calling family is the thing to do. FML

#20869986
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43675) - you deserved it (2507)

On 09/06/2013 at 8:10am - misc - by theblackrose23 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I arrived at my college dorm. To help me sleep, I listened to my local radio from my phone. Little did I know, they turn off the wifi for part of the night, and hours of music were streamed onto my phone. Guess who now owes the phone company all my money. FML

#20868766
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43629) - you deserved it (11096)

On 09/05/2013 at 11:49am - money - by OweLotsaMoney - United States

Today, after growing my hair out for over a year and constantly being told that it makes me look like a girl, I finally cut it. The first thing my friends said when they saw me was that I now look like a "lesbian." FML

#20874059
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42895) - you deserved it (5441)

On 09/09/2013 at 2:42am - misc - by jessel_ladd92 (man) - United States

Today, I received an email from my professor asking me not to jump ahead on assignments as it makes the other students look bad. FML

#20864021
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42715) - you deserved it (6931)

On 09/02/2013 at 1:14am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend took me to a very elegant and expensive restaurant to celebrate our anniversary. When it came to the check, I volunteered to pitch in half, which he rejected by saying "I got it". Little did I know was that "I got it" was short for "I got your credit card". FML

#20868496
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42703) - you deserved it (3129)

On 09/05/2013 at 3:24am - misc - by IGOTIT (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to my insurance company to deal with some paperwork. One of their employees backed into my car before I made it into the building. FML

#20874631
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42658) - you deserved it (2768)

On 09/09/2013 at 5:04pm - money - by Sean - United States

Today, I got yelled at by my mom for not being surprised enough at my surprise birthday party. She'd told me about it while drunk the night before. FML

#20870923
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42576) - you deserved it (2900)

On 09/07/2013 at 12:50am - misc - by areyoukiddingme - United States

Today, my husband thought it would be acceptable to watch Breaking Bad on Netflix with my 4-year-old in the room. What happened to be the only line he picked up? "Well heil Hitler, bitch!" I found out from his preschool teacher. FML

#20865525
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42487) - you deserved it (4708)

On 09/03/2013 at 12:13am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, at my boyfriend's brother's house, I desperately needed to poop. After finishing my business, I realized the toilet wouldn't flush. I had to pull my poop out, wrap it in TP and make an excuse to go outside to throw it in a bush. The neighbor was watching. FML

#20874714
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42411) - you deserved it (11463)

On 09/09/2013 at 6:05pm - misc - by heyhijello - United States (California)



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