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Wednesday 4 September 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I'm trapped in my apartment. My new cat won't let me leave. Every time I try, he blocks the door, hisses and tries to savage me. I'm my own cat's bitch. FML

#20864719
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45440) - you deserved it (19318)

On 09/02/2013 at 3:22pm - animals - by aherdofpigs - United States

Today, I arrived at my college dorm. To help me sleep, I listened to my local radio from my phone. Little did I know, they turn off the wifi for part of the night, and hours of music were streamed onto my phone. Guess who now owes the phone company all my money. FML

#20868766
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44700) - you deserved it (11425)

On 09/05/2013 at 11:49am - money - by OweLotsaMoney - United States

Today, my boyfriend got offered a job at Abercrombie. The first thing he asked was "they only hire hot people, right?!" Now he won't stop telling me how lucky I am to be with such a hot guy. FML

Today, when my husband asked me what the password to my new computer is, I told him it was the month and year of our marriage. He couldn't figure out the password. FML

#20872459
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44356) - you deserved it (6495)

On 09/08/2013 at 1:42am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, my boyfriend took me to a very elegant and expensive restaurant to celebrate our anniversary. When it came to the check, I volunteered to pitch in half, which he rejected by saying "I got it". Little did I know was that "I got it" was short for "I got your credit card". FML

#20868496
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44343) - you deserved it (3294)

On 09/05/2013 at 3:24am - misc - by IGOTIT (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my husband thought it would be acceptable to watch Breaking Bad on Netflix with my 4-year-old in the room. What happened to be the only line he picked up? "Well heil Hitler, bitch!" I found out from his preschool teacher. FML

#20865525
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44290) - you deserved it (4888)

On 09/03/2013 at 12:13am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I received an email from my professor asking me not to jump ahead on assignments as it makes the other students look bad. FML

#20864021
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44257) - you deserved it (7129)

On 09/02/2013 at 1:14am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I noticed that my car's passenger-side door has cobwebs all over it. FML

#20876882
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44198) - you deserved it (6831)

On 09/11/2013 at 10:16am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I found out my kids only remember my birthday because it's the password on the iPad. FML

#20871062
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44147) - you deserved it (5520)

On 09/07/2013 at 4:22am - kids - by Sean - United States (California)

Today, I had a dream in which I was playing tennis. As I hit a powerful serve, I suddenly woke up due to having slapped myself in the face. FML

#20875790
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43961) - you deserved it (6412)

On 09/10/2013 at 2:44pm - misc - by Grand Slam (man) - Belgium (Vlaams-Brabant)

Today, I was feeling abnormally self-confident, so I decided to skip putting on any makeup. The first thing my 7-year-old cousin said when she saw me was, "You look like my pet rat!" FML

#20864621
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43947) - you deserved it (4990)

On 09/02/2013 at 2:22pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out my grandfather died via Facebook, because apparently both my father and my aunt think posting a status about it immediately rather than calling family is the thing to do. FML

#20869986
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43757) - you deserved it (2517)

On 09/06/2013 at 8:10am - misc - by theblackrose23 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, at my boyfriend's brother's house, I desperately needed to poop. After finishing my business, I realized the toilet wouldn't flush. I had to pull my poop out, wrap it in TP and make an excuse to go outside to throw it in a bush. The neighbor was watching. FML

#20874714
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43661) - you deserved it (11895)

On 09/09/2013 at 6:05pm - misc - by heyhijello - United States (California)



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