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Wednesday 4 September 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I officially became a divorced marriage counselor. FML

#20877295
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44577) - you deserved it (7268)

On 09/11/2013 at 5:35pm - work - by natattack - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend got offered a job at Abercrombie. The first thing he asked was "they only hire hot people, right?!" Now he won't stop telling me how lucky I am to be with such a hot guy. FML

Today, my boyfriend took me to a very elegant and expensive restaurant to celebrate our anniversary. When it came to the check, I volunteered to pitch in half, which he rejected by saying "I got it". Little did I know was that "I got it" was short for "I got your credit card". FML

#20868496
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44329) - you deserved it (3293)

On 09/05/2013 at 3:24am - misc - by IGOTIT (woman) - United States (California)

Today, when my husband asked me what the password to my new computer is, I told him it was the month and year of our marriage. He couldn't figure out the password. FML

#20872459
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44326) - you deserved it (6494)

On 09/08/2013 at 1:42am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I received an email from my professor asking me not to jump ahead on assignments as it makes the other students look bad. FML

#20864021
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44241) - you deserved it (7128)

On 09/02/2013 at 1:14am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my mom bumped into a table with a glass vase on it. Seeing that the vase was about to fall, I lunged to catch it. Before I got there, the vase fell and shattered, resulting in me diving into the broken shards. FML

#20874413
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44099) - you deserved it (5342)

On 09/09/2013 at 1:44pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had a dream in which I was playing tennis. As I hit a powerful serve, I suddenly woke up due to having slapped myself in the face. FML

#20875790
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43945) - you deserved it (6412)

On 09/10/2013 at 2:44pm - misc - by Grand Slam (man) - Belgium (Vlaams-Brabant)

Today, I was feeling abnormally self-confident, so I decided to skip putting on any makeup. The first thing my 7-year-old cousin said when she saw me was, "You look like my pet rat!" FML

#20864621
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43935) - you deserved it (4987)

On 09/02/2013 at 2:22pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out my kids only remember my birthday because it's the password on the iPad. FML

#20871062
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43896) - you deserved it (5482)

On 09/07/2013 at 4:22am - kids - by Sean - United States (California)

Today, my husband thought it would be acceptable to watch Breaking Bad on Netflix with my 4-year-old in the room. What happened to be the only line he picked up? "Well heil Hitler, bitch!" I found out from his preschool teacher. FML

#20865525
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43789) - you deserved it (4832)

On 09/03/2013 at 12:13am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out my grandfather died via Facebook, because apparently both my father and my aunt think posting a status about it immediately rather than calling family is the thing to do. FML

#20869986
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43732) - you deserved it (2515)

On 09/06/2013 at 8:10am - misc - by theblackrose23 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, after growing my hair out for over a year and constantly being told that it makes me look like a girl, I finally cut it. The first thing my friends said when they saw me was that I now look like a "lesbian." FML

#20874059
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42976) - you deserved it (5446)

On 09/09/2013 at 2:42am - misc - by jessel_ladd92 (man) - United States

Today, I discovered that my boyfriend, who has frequent night terrors, also sleepwalks. And apparently sleep-pisses on the bathroom rug. FML

#20872688
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42868) - you deserved it (3289)

On 09/08/2013 at 9:07am - love - by laundry day again... - United States



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