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Wednesday 28 August 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I, for some reason, was talking to my mom about money. I jokingly said that the reason we're short on cash is because of her internet porn addiction. She replied, with a straight face, "How did you know?" I'm still not sure if she's joking or not. FML

#20862659
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41714) - you deserved it (5144)

On 09/01/2013 at 1:06am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my neighbor's daughter started learning how to play the trombone. FML

#20857611
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41639) - you deserved it (4910)

On 08/28/2013 at 6:33am - kids - by Alice (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I resigned from my job in favor of a higher-paying one. After I filled out and filed the necessary papers, my boss told me that I had been nominated to replace him when he retired in a month. His job pays at least twice what I'm now making. Thanks for telling me, asshat. FML

#20863852
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41513) - you deserved it (14473)

On 09/01/2013 at 11:18pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out that I'm the creepy uncle of the family. FML

#20860109
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40971) - you deserved it (14480)

On 08/30/2013 at 8:33am - misc - by charlieg9 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, during one of my first days as a teacher, a student stole my phone. FML

#20855620
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40693) - you deserved it (4590)

On 08/26/2013 at 8:22pm - work - by gunnerdog (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that my obese son, who is on a health-mandated diet and exercise plan, gorges on junk food whenever he has the chance. His logic? "It won't make you fatter if you crap it out." FML

#20863945
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40501) - you deserved it (6140)

On 09/02/2013 at 12:16am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I came into the kitchen to see how dinner was coming along. My mother was milling the meat around the skillet with the cat's poop scooper as a spatula. FML

#20856980
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40483) - you deserved it (2526)

On 08/27/2013 at 8:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I couldn't sleep due to an awful head cold, so I stayed home from work. Apparently, the local high school marching band practices in the park across the street at 9am. They're doing the Imperial March music from Star Wars. They suck. FML

#20867437
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40363) - you deserved it (3147)

On 09/04/2013 at 12:24pm - misc - by lostinspace (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had to finally accept that I have an eating disorder when I caught myself checking for the nutrition facts and calories on my shampoo. FML

#20864106
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40225) - you deserved it (7998)

On 09/02/2013 at 2:47am - health - by Jasmine_smilee - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was at the doctor's getting a check up. He asked me if I was allergic to anything, to which I blurted out, "Cats." He gave me a weird look and said, "Don't worry, I won't give you cats." FML

#20865755
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40219) - you deserved it (6622)

On 09/03/2013 at 4:17am - health - by NoNotCats =^._.^= (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I had to bail my brother out of jail after he punched a convenience store clerk in the face for running out of Cheetos. FML

#20867149
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40075) - you deserved it (3411)

On 09/04/2013 at 3:00am - kids - by ven980 - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I had an asthma attack while in bed with my boyfriend. He interrupted my desperate coughing only to tell me to shut up. He then rolled over to go back to sleep. FML

#20862012
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39980) - you deserved it (3625)

On 08/31/2013 at 4:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Akershus)

Today, I took my driver's test. The woman administering it wouldn't even look at me, so trying to be friendly I said the first thing I could think of: "It must be scary getting in the car with someone you don't know!" She failed me for "excessive chatting." FML

#20867699
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39863) - you deserved it (4408)

On 09/04/2013 at 5:14pm - work - by UGGGH that was my 2nd attempt too (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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