Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Wednesday 28 August 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I got my period 2 days early, while being interviewed for my dream job. Let's just say that I don't have very high hopes after walking backwards to the exit door and falling down upon colliding with the wall. FML

#20861465
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44667) - you deserved it (3892)

On 08/31/2013 at 8:14am - health - by faulty plumbimg! (woman) - India

Today, my crew and I were berated by a client for not installing her new hardwood floor on time. We were only halfway through the day, but apparently it should have only taken "like, an hour?" because "The guys on the TV shows do it that fast." FML

#20861177
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44658) - you deserved it (2622)

On 08/31/2013 at 12:44am - work - by smashyonewfloors - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my daughter and I were driving home when our truck broke down. A police officer stopped and offered to let me and my two year old sit in his car for the A/C. When we got in, I sat her on my lap, and she pulled down my tank top and screamed "Boobies!" right in front of the officer. FML

#20862202
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44530) - you deserved it (3969)

On 08/31/2013 at 7:48pm - kids - by embarrassedmom - United States

Today, I actually had to explain to my husband why his habit of wiping his boogers off into our baby's hair has to stop. FML

#20859193
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44415) - you deserved it (3411)

On 08/29/2013 at 12:26pm - misc - by grossedout (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend got offered a job at Abercrombie. The first thing he asked was "they only hire hot people, right?!" Now he won't stop telling me how lucky I am to be with such a hot guy. FML

Today, my husband thought it would be acceptable to watch Breaking Bad on Netflix with my 4-year-old in the room. What happened to be the only line he picked up? "Well heil Hitler, bitch!" I found out from his preschool teacher. FML

#20865525
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44290) - you deserved it (4888)

On 09/03/2013 at 12:13am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I received an email from my professor asking me not to jump ahead on assignments as it makes the other students look bad. FML

#20864021
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44259) - you deserved it (7129)

On 09/02/2013 at 1:14am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was told that the $500 I'm owed for babysitting isn't going to happen. Why? Because after six months of watching a friend's six children, she's moved 120 miles away and no longer needs me. FML

Today, my boyfriend told me that he would leave me if I didn't seek help for my eating disorder. The eating disorder in question? Vegetarianism. FML

#20860215
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43971) - you deserved it (19349)

On 08/30/2013 at 10:44am - health - by itsellie27 (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was feeling abnormally self-confident, so I decided to skip putting on any makeup. The first thing my 7-year-old cousin said when she saw me was, "You look like my pet rat!" FML

#20864621
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43949) - you deserved it (4991)

On 09/02/2013 at 2:22pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I, for some reason, was talking to my mom about money. I jokingly said that the reason we're short on cash is because of her internet porn addiction. She replied, with a straight face, "How did you know?" I'm still not sure if she's joking or not. FML

#20862659
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43944) - you deserved it (5433)

On 09/01/2013 at 1:06am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my neighbor's daughter started learning how to play the trombone. FML

#20857611
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43701) - you deserved it (5159)

On 08/28/2013 at 6:33am - kids - by Alice (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I won a lottery at my local grocery store. Excited, I went to claim my prize, only to discover it was a bottle of red wine. I'm a recovering alcoholic. FML

#20858175
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43473) - you deserved it (3235)

On 08/28/2013 at 5:47pm - misc - by notsolucky - United States (Connecticut)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: