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Wednesday 28 August 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boyfriend's freshly-repainted car got keyed. He's literally more of an inconsolable wreck now than he was when his own mother passed away last year. When I tried hinting that he was overreacting, he told me to go to hell. FML

#20861652
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40688) - you deserved it (9140)

On 08/31/2013 at 12:12pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to calm my hallucinating mom after she accidentally overdosed on one of her pills, then spend ages trying to protect her from the "monkey" on the wall. FML

#20866110
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40615) - you deserved it (2591)

On 09/03/2013 at 2:04pm - misc - by D - United States (California)

Today, my first date in years cancelled on me because she has to "wash the horse's hair." The date was arranged for 9:30pm. FML

#20857695
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40608) - you deserved it (3316)

On 08/28/2013 at 9:25am - misc - by AtLeastHaveADecientExcuse -

Today, after spending the weekend together, my ex turned nasty. I finally had the balls to tell him what a cruel asshole I think he is and really hit him where it hurts. I felt very empowered and strong. That is, until I realized I left my favourite and rather expensive jacket in his apartment. FML

#20854612
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40334) - you deserved it (15920)

On 08/26/2013 at 12:52am - love - by scorned_jacketless_lady (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I showed up at my brother's house for a visit. Little did I know, there was a family gathering. My bestfriend was invited and I wasn't. She's "more fun and less awkward" than I am. FML

#20864835
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40173) - you deserved it (3342)

On 09/02/2013 at 5:23pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my wife appropriated our savings to finance her crazy, midlife crisis idea of designing and marketing Cheez Whiz dildos. FML

#20860571
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39887) - you deserved it (3303)

On 08/30/2013 at 5:05pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, trying to impress my in-laws, I put a lot of effort into selecting a nice bottle of wine for dinner at their house. When I got there, I gave the bottle to my wife's mother. Later, my father-in-law emerges from the kitchen to berate his wife over her poor choice of wine. It was mine. FML

#20855520
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39849) - you deserved it (3314)

On 08/26/2013 at 7:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my barber repeatedly threatened to stab me with scissors while I was getting my hair cut. FML

#20858870
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39683) - you deserved it (4368)

On 08/29/2013 at 3:39am - misc - by oD_Ronan (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I witnessed my husband hocking a loogie into his hand, then throwing it into the trash can and continuing to make our sandwiches. FML

#20863339
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39626) - you deserved it (3097)

On 09/01/2013 at 4:04pm - misc - by no no no no no no no no no no no fuck no (woman) - Greece (Attiki)

Today, I had no choice but to bring my son to work as a med school professor. I sat him in a chair in a corner while I gave a lecture. To my surprise, he added another word to his limited vocabulary, and screamed it out loud with an ecstatic expression on his face. The word is "cancer". FML

#20856004
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39320) - you deserved it (4363)

On 08/27/2013 at 12:36am - kids - by Parenting... (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my house was broken into. They didn't take much, but they did paint spunking cocks on the walls and furniture. FML

#20858925
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39078) - you deserved it (2605)

On 08/29/2013 at 5:38am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I spent a large portion of the afternoon playing hide and seek with the door-to-door salesman who saw me sneak in the back door and won't stop knocking. No amount of hiding behind the couch will make him go away. FML

#20867080
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38836) - you deserved it (7107)

On 09/04/2013 at 1:25am - misc - by my back hurts - Australia (South Australia)

Today, while I was teaching my chickens to eat out of my hand, one of the hens bit my finger and I dropped the entire handful of treats. Result: bonanza for the bird. The rest decided they could get more treats by biting me rather than by behaving. I now have a flock of fingerbiters. FML



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